Love Yourself

Chapter 7

October 2016

"You feeling okay sweetie?" My coworker Pattie said to me.

"Not really. I haven't been for a while, but today it's worse."

"Tell me your symptoms." I told her all my symptoms and she listened the whole time. It's nice to have her listen and not judge me.

"Honey, I think you might be pregnant." Fear filled my whole body.

"No." I shook my head no. This can't be happening right now.

"It's going to be okay. We can get a test to make sure."

"I don't know what I'm going to do. Jason and I are nowhere near ready for a baby."

"Shh Sweetie, let's go get a test okay."

"But what about work?" She pulled me tight in her arms, trying to comfort me.

"I'll take care of it okay." I nodded while she pulled away and left. I tried gathering myself, but I couldn't. Right now I need my mom and sister to help me. Twenty minutes later, Pattie came back with a test. She gave me an encouraging smile, while I went to take the test.

"Pregnant." The tears started to flow again and I couldn't stop it. Pattie came in pulling me back into her arms.

"It's going to be okay." She tried to reassure me.

"I'm not ready."

"Breathe." I took in a calming breath, trying to relax.

"Maybe you should go home and relax." I agreed and went to go grab my things.

"Thank you so much for being there and listening."

"Of course, I'm just a call away if you need anything."

"Thank you." I told my supervisor I wasn't feeling good and she let me go. Hopefully no one is home, because I just want to be alone right now.

Finally, making my way home, I sighed in relief finding no one was home. Laying on my bed I pulled my shirt up, resting my hand on my belly. Honestly, I have no idea what I'm going to do. If I was home it would be different, I would have my family. The only person I have here is my grandma and probably Kayla. Jason and I have been rocky, so who knows.

"Hey you're awake." Kayla smiled at me as I walked into the kitchen.

"Wine?" Another thing I will have to give up.

"No thanks." I shook my head. Good

"Still not feeling good."

"I feel okay, but I don't want to push it too much."

"Probably a good idea. So the boys are out tonight, so what do you say about having a movie night."

"That actually sounds amazing." I smiled while she made soup and grilled cheese. This is just want I needed after the day I had.

"What do you want to watch?"

"Doesn't matter." She nodded, picking something on Netflix.

"What is that smell?"

"I don't smell anything."

"It's awful." I got up and found a candle that was burning. I quickly blew it out, trying not to throw up.

"What is going on with you?" She looked at me confused. The fight to not throw up wasn't working. I quickly went to the bathroom and threw up. Once I was done I wiped my mouth and threw my hair up in a bun.

"El, you're pregnant?" She breathed out. Tears filled my eyes while I nodded my head. She quickly came over and wrapped her arms around me, holding me tight.