Secrets | Percabeth AU

18- Scared

Annabeth's POV

I knew where this "talk" would be headed before we even started talking.

Percy led me outside, to a nearby tree. He gripped my hand gently. When he was not looking, I wiped my teary-eyes, hoping to try and avoid the upcoming conversation.

He sat down and reclined his back on the trunk of the tree. He beckoned me to sit next to him, and I did, cautiously.

It's November. Why did he choose to sit outside in the freezing cold? If we're going to talk about a touchy subject, why out here in the cold? He can be smart at times, and this is not one of those.

"I've never seen you like that before," he said worriedly. He fidgeted with his fingers.

"Well, yeah, the song lyrics are emotional..." I said, trying to lead the conversation far from my current emotional state.

He grinned, which made me grin at him. "We made a pretty good song. We were dam awesome!"

He gave me a high five. His brown eyes twinkled, and his brown wig was in its usual messy state. Don't tell him I said this, but sometimes I wished that I can rip that wig off and have his jet-black hair spill out. I prefer his black hair and sea-green eyes.

I averted my eyes from him and looked at the front of the school. I saw Luke walk out of school with his phone in hand. I recognized people from the football team and girls from Rachel and Calypso's table giving him high-fives and hugs. Huh. He's still a charmer.

"How do you do that? Why do you do that?" Percy asked me. His intense gaze burrowing into me.

"What?" I asked in confusion.

"One second, we're grinning and staring at each other, then the next you turn away from me and become all serious. I've seen you do that all the time... Are you scared?" He asked.

I am scared. I wanted to tell him. I'm scared of the past. Scared because of Luke. Scared of how things from my past are coming back to me again. From Mom to Luke... I'm scared of feeling left behind... abandoned. It's going way too fast, and I wish it would just slow down to a... stop.

I didn't want speak for a while, and I'm guessed he understood because he turned quiet. He looked out into the road, and we just sat there in silence. Shoulder to shoulder. No space in between. Just us, the leaves' ruffling, and our constant breathes.

"Do you know what I'm scared of?" I asked, when my head was clear. "I'm scared of how I trust you so easily. How I only met you back at San Francisco and already ate lunch with you that same day. I only met you 3 months ago, yet I'm so comfortable around you."

It's true. It's absolutely ridiculous how comfortable we are to each other, in a span of 3 months! It's not even practical. It's scary as hell...

My life has been an emotional rollercoaster ride. I hate feeling abandoned, not wanted, or treated like a piece of dirt. When I felt those things, I built a brick wall around me. Started to become more cautious. Started to rebuild. All my life has been a silent fight to be okay... I'm scared that someone might break that wall that I've spent years on.

I guess I'm scared of how fast Percy became one of my most trusted people, despite the brick wall. How can I trust him-who pretended to be someone else- so easily?

"You know you can trust me," He said genuinely. "Look, if this is about that Castellan guy, then-"

"What? Why would you say this is about Luke?" I interrupted.