How To Ruin Your Life

Step 2: Make Mortal Enemies

I walk to the bus stop ten minutes early. I don't really enjoy doing it, but I guess that's the whole point of it. It doesn't take very long for the kids to start showing up. The bus comes not long after and I take my empty seat near the back.

The lyrics of Crywank's "I Am Shit" play in my head, and I look out the window of the bus. It's taking an extra stop today, one not too far from the forest. Fuck! He sure as hell is not sitting by me.

Nikolai Assholovich boards the school bus to hell rather pleasantly, so I duck my head down under the seat, pressing my forehead into the seat in front of me. He takes a seat diagonally forward from me.

Whew. Narrowly avoided that shit storm. I pull my head back and he turns around, and smiles.

That's odd. I was expecting a smirk or smug kind of grin, but Assholovich is just smiling a genuinely happy smile. Or, at least, that's how it looks. This is probably just another trick.

He begins to move so he can sit next to me.

"No, man! You don't want to sit by this son of a bitch. She's rude as hell for no reason. It's like she's constantly on her period," The girl who was sitting next to him, Audrey, says, pulling Nikolai back in his seat.

Nikolai looks back at me, and I just turn back toward the window. "I'm sure she's not that bad. Besides, maybe she just needs a friend." His accent comes out strong, and I'm rather surprised Audrey doesn't comment on it. She's probably too pissed at me right now to care.

"No," Audrey and I say at the same time, causing her to glare at me.

"No," Audrey continues, looking back at Nikolai, "She was like this even when she had friends. She apparently enjoys making herself fucking miserable, which she does at the cost at making the people around her upset as well."

"I'm actually surprised at how thoroughly you've analyzed my situation and," I make sure to drown my voice in sarcasm, "You're right. I'm sorry for not wanting to be friends with people like you who shit-talk me behind my back. You're right. I should adore people like you who call me lethargic after knowing what happened. You're right. I should FUCKING WORSHIP THE PEOPLE who beat the LIVING SHIT out of me, because, you know what? Those are going to be the beat FUCKING friends in the world. Thanks for finally clearing this all up for me, Audrey."

Audrey looks fucking abhorred; Nikolai, who I had forgotten about during the episode, was just giving me a look of pure sympathy, which I sure as hell don't want; and I just open my bag and grab out Between Good and Evil by Nietsche, who fucking pisses me off, but it's better than looking at Nikolai and Audrey.

Eventually, Nikolai turns to Audrey and they begin to talk. Good. I've gotten rid of both of my problems.

Soon enough, we're at the school, and school has begun and school is happening fast. Or, at least, it was until third period.

I find my way to the back of the classroom, my assigned seat. There were a few empty seats around me, but since there were several empty seats throughout the room, I figure that I don't really need to worry about Nikolai coming and sitting by me. Besides, his new best friend Audrey is in this class, so they'll probably sit together.

Audrey comes in, not very long afterwards, with fuckboy Assholovich basically hanging off her arm. Well, at least I can take comfort in knowing that the next few weeks of Nikolai's life will be filled with excessive drama. This will be fun to watch.

Audrey makes sure to make full eye contact with me as she sits the fuck down, as if I'm displeased with the fact that she took a problem out of my life. I can't say I'm jealous of her, because I am not. If anything, I'm almost thankful for her right now. I smile and wave. I hope she fucking despises me. I'm sure that Assholovich has already heard about how much of a moody asshole I am, as well as how much I just don't fucking care about people anymore.

I open up my notebook right as the teacher walks in to greet the class. "Hello! So, as I'm sure you've heard, we have a new student today. Nikolai, will you please come up here and introduce yourself?" I watch as he freezes up and can't help but to quietly scoff.

He awkwardly walks up to the front of the room, then stands there, waiting for a cue from the teacher.

"Go on, introduce yourself," Mrs. Caire coaxes.

I watch as all the blood drains from his face, and I understand how it is. When I was younger, we moved a lot, meaning few friends, lots of introductions, and an overall shitty time.

I look him in the eyes, and as his eyes sweep across the room, they land on me. I take a deep breath, hoping he follows suit, and smile ever so slightly. He takes a deep breath, then begins. "Hello," his accent is very thick, and I see people in the room pull back in disgust, "I am Nikolai Vasleyev and I am from Russia."

I pull my eyes away momentarily because I feel like I'm being watched. Lo and behold, there's an angry Audrey, practically breathing fire at her desk. I decide not to give her the time of day and look at the whiteboard.

As Nikolai begins to walk back, Mrs. Caire stops him. "Okay, so I'm going to have you sit in the back row by Piper, okay?" Everything stops for a moment. I hear the words, and I can't even believe that I just heard them. "Piper, will you raise your hand?" I begin to slowly raise my hand up. I don't want this.

"Mrs. Caire, I hate to interrupt you, but I was wondering if he could sit be me, instead? I am his only friend thus far, and so---"

With a kind smile, Mrs. Caire interrupts. "All the more reason to move him by someone new. He's got to make friends eventually."

My mouth slams open. I'm not quite sure if the last sentence was meant as a diss, but it really sounded like one. Nikolai grabs his stuff from the desk he was sitting at and moves to the seat next to me.

"So, you're name's Piper." I watch him, but don't dare say a word and encourage him. "Did you get my texts this morning?" I don't move once again, naively hoping that he will stop talking.

"Hey, um, thanks for what you just did. That was pretty cool of you." So this guy isn't a complete ass. I shrug in response.

"It's no big deal. I've been there before, so I know how it is." I look up from my desk to hopefully see the teacher getting ready to teach. Nope, all I see is an angry Audrey.

I can't help but feel like she's got it cut out for me later, despite the fact that I'm not pleased with our seating arrangement either. Oh well.

"So, today I'm going to have you guys write a few paragraphs on anything." There are various disappointed noises coming from all over the room. "Anyway, if you don't finish, it's homework."

I quickly write the paragraphs using any thoughts that ran through my head so I can finish this God-forsaken homework.