The Beginning (Book One in The Illusion of Certainty Series)

Epitome of Suck

The next morning I dragged myself out of bed. I’d cried myself to sleep so my eyes were swollen and puffy. I ran through my morning ritual and then headed out. Aidan wasn’t there to meet me but I had my two guards following me around. Lucky me.

I headed to the dinning hall, ignoring the lunch lady’s protests as I ordered my coffee. I took it outside on the patio and sat by myself. People only went out there in the spring or summer so I was left with my own company. Michael and Luke flanked the door, neither of them coming over to speak to me.

The bell rang for first period and I got up. I tossed my half empty cup of coffee in the trash and headed to Herbology. Sophie was back in class so I was alone at my station. I didn’t focus on anyone in particular and ignored the whispers that floated around me from the other students.

I paid attention as best as I could but after a while, I just couldn’t do it. I spaced out in Battle Studies and missed my favorite war, Napoleon’s return from Elba. I skipped the dinning hall for lunch and headed to the library. Neither Luke nor Michael said anything about my lack of appetite. They just remained behind me, watching.

I browsed the stacks and pulled several books on my favorite battles. I sat down at one of the tables and read. When the bell rang for me to go to sparring class I just sat there, staring off into space.

“Georgiana,” Luke tapped my shoulder, “you’re going to be late.”

I looked up at him, my eyes taking in the sympathetic look on his face. I nodded and turned back to the books. The librarian told me just to leave them, she’d put them up. I couldn’t make myself get out of my chair though.

“You’re going to have to face him eventually,” Luke said softly.

I got up out of my chair and grabbed my bag. I headed to the arena and managed to step through the door right as the bell rang. Sabain gave me a puzzled look but I ignored her.

I went to the locker room where Sophie sat, waiting for me.

“Where have you been?” her voice quivered. “I’ve been worried. I haven’t seen you since Herbology and…”

“I’m fine, Sophie.”

She moved away from my locker and watched me get dressed. She didn’t say anything else and followed me out. The boys had already moved to the side arena so I was blessed. Sabain gave me another look.

“Now that our stragglers have joined us, let’s get to today’s lesson.”

Sabain started explaining a difficult maneuver. I paid attention long enough to automatically get what I was supposed to do. Then I stared back off into space.

“Georgiana, care to assist?” Sabain asked.

“Sure.”

The girls spread out around the dirt floor and Sabain and I faced off.

“Gee, you will do the maneuver first. You will complete it. Then you will do it again and I will attempt to block. Then we reverse. Got it?”

I nodded. We went at it and I put as much as I could into it. I landed it perfectly but Sabain looked surprised when I let her block.

“Everyone, practice.”

I did what I usually did, watching and helping. Sabain had me practice a few more times. Time passed quicker than I thought because Hektor was soon following the boys out and Sabin was calling time. I sat down in one of the chairs, not wanting to change. Sophie sat down next to me.

“I don’t know what’s going on but you have to snap out of it,“ she whispered. “You’re freaking everyone out.”

“What are you talking about? Snap out of what?” I asked.