First Love, Worst Love

Chapter 19 - Support

My gaze wanders around my room as I wait for Chunk to reply, finally falling on the beautiful red rose Jaxon gave me yesterday. It's lying pride of place in the centre of my desk. A token of what he feels for me. I sigh affectionately as I look at it. I know that Jaxon can be a little tricky and guarded, that sometimes he can even be downright spikey. But he doesn't mean it. Deep down, he's just reaching out and looking for people who care. We can't let him down like his family has. We're all he's got.

The chat box makes the plonking sound of an incoming message and I whip my head straight back to the screen.

"I'm not trying to criticise him, but I've known him for a really long time and I've seen the way he behaves sometimes. I'm just trying to help... Maybe I shouldn't have said anything. I just want you to be happy Ash. Also, what do you mean he needs me now more than ever? Is there something I don't know about? Xx"

I blink confusedly at the message in front of me. Chunk doesn't know about Jaxon's situation? That really surprises me. But then again, Jaxon is such a proud character that it makes sense he would hide the truth from his friends. I wonder if Dev and Raj know about his living arrangements? Jaxon is saving up to live with them so they might do. But equally, he might have withheld the specific details about just why he wants to become their new flatmate.

Now I don't know what to do. Jaxon never told me his family problems were a secret, but it's not my place to start talking about them. Not even to Chunk. I decide to evade the question.

"I just mean he needs support from his friends right now, not being picked apart. It's a big thing to start a new relationship! We both want to know that people are on our side, not looking for reasons to split us up..."

I know I'm being quite blunt, but to be honest I'm feeling blunt. I don't have time to tread on eggshells or worry about Chunk's feelings. If he's jealous of his friend moving on then it's not my problem. He's either for us or against us. I can't deal with all these cryptic little games anymore. He's supposed to be our friend so why does he keep on doing this?

Is it because he wants Jaxon's life? I know from experience how hard it is being the sidekick all the time. Sometimes I swear I spend my life in Annabelle's shadow. But I'm still happy for her when she needs me to be. That's just what you do when you care about someone.

"Ashleigh? Are you up love?" My Mum's voice suddenly sounds through my bedroom door, startling me somewhat. "Can I come in a sec?"

I glance between the door and my laptop. Chunk is composing a reply. "Um, yeah... Hold on a minute, Mum."

She ignores my instructions and barges into my room anyway. "What are you up to in here? Are you talking to your friends on Facebook?"

"Don't just walk in without permission," I sigh tetchily. My mother has no respect for privacy. I must remember to put a lock on my door for when Jaxon starts coming over.

"Oh, there's nothing I haven't seen before, love," Mum laughs, sitting down at the end of my bed. I have to bite my tongue. Why does she still treat me like I'm five years old?! One day she'll walk in on me doing so much more than having a tea-party with my teddy bears. And when that day comes it will be all her fault.

Finally, Chunk's message flashes up on the screen. I try to read it quickly so I can switch the tab away from nosey parental eyes.

"Oh Ash, I'm so sorry this has come out all wrong. I'm not trying to split you guys up. I would never try and do something like that. I'm actually rather distraught that you think that, please let me try to fix this and explain better. Are you free to chat on the phone or anything? Your friendship means the world to me and I don't want this to come between us. Xx"