Even Broken People Need Love

24

"Hey cutie." A male voice said. I froze at the voice. I hadn't seen him since Austin pasted. A year ago. It was Austin's best friend. He always tried to bang me, even though me and Austin dated. He was a total fuckboy.

"Hey Benny." He let out a low growl at the nickname. I mentally shivered at the sound.

"You know I don't like that, right little slut." He whispered, in a deep voice, coming closer to me. I looked around, no one was near me right now. I'm only trying to get ready for singing on the stage at this bar. This isn't helping my anxiety.

"I know, man whore."

"Well little slut, you know what happens when I don't get what I want..., Don't we.." I closed my eyes. Reliving when he burned me. I lightly touched where he burned my hip. "That's right, little slut. I have a cigarette right here too." He took it out, and lite it. I didn't have any time to think before he pushed it onto my tummy, because I had on a crop top. He put his hand on my mouth to stop my screams. Big hot tears poured out from my eyes. Panic blew throughout my entire body. So maybe what if's ran through my mind.

"Hey, Jess!" I heard Dean say. Then Ben started making moaning sounds. He was trying to make it sound like we were fucking! He whispered in my ear to moan or the punishment would be worst. I refused to moan, he stuck the cigarette onto my neck. And he kept pushing. I screamed, and bit his finger, he let go quickly and shouted at me.

"YOU STUPID UGLY FAT BITCH! NO WONDER AUSTIN WANTED TO DIE! YOU'RE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER! HOW DOES YOUR NEW BOYFRIEND EVEN LIKE YOU? HE'S PROBABLY JUST USING YOU, BECAUSE NO ONE WOULD EVER ACTUALLY LOVE YOU. AUSTIN HATED YOU, HE WAS USING YOU, AND IF YOU DON'T BELIEVE ME THEN ASK HIM, BECAUSE HE'S NOT DEAD." Ben screamed, then walked out. Tears kept coming and coming. I couldn't stop. What if its true. Austin was just using me? He hates me? He's alive? Dean rushed in anger masking his face, he saw the mess I was, and all traces of anger gone.

"Oh my god, Jessica, I thought you were cheating, then I heard whoever the hell that was screaming at you. But nun of its true. Austin's dead, and Austin loves you, Austin never wanted to die, everything is okay. Baby girl, its okay." He tried to calm me down, but instead I let out ugly sobs that made me shake, and I could physically feel Dean's heart break for me. And that just made me cry harder. I couldn't believe all this pain I was feeling. It's been a year, I should be over this.

But maybe the truth is, I won't ever get over him. I'll always have our memories. Maybe this was suppose to happen.

*-*-*-*

"Hey Austin. Long time no see." I said, as I sat down next to his gravestone. I haven't been here in a year. Since the funeral. I was opening a fresh wound as some would say. But I need to be here, and talk to him. And then I ranted to him, and I told him everything that's happening, and everything that I wanted him to know, and I cried to him, and all I wanted was him to hold me.

"Jessica, this isn't healthy." I heard someone say. I looked up, no one was there. I turned around, there was someone standing there, I have no clue who this person is.

"Who are you?" I sniffed.

"I'm Austin, you're ex-boyfriend." I opened my mouth like a fish.

"Noo."

"Yes, just with a different face, and hair color." I looked the person in the eyes. That's Austin...

"What the fuck!?!? Is this some sick joke Austin? How are you alive, who's in that grave? Do your parents know?"

"Its not a sick joke, I'm alive because I am, and I have no idea who's in my grave and no my parents don't know, nor will the ever know. I knew you'd visit soon..."

"D-do you hate me?" I hickuped, thinking back to what Ben said.

"No, never. I love you, I will never forget you. Ben is a fool." He said, picking me up.

"Why didn't you tell me you weren't dead?"

"Because, I've moved to the mountains in Ohio, I've gotten a new girlfriend, Grace, and we've set up a future. She knows who you are. I told her all about what happened." I felt a pang at my heart. It just broke a little more. That was suppose to be us.

"Well that's nice."

"I've heard about Dean. I'm happy for you, you guys really are cute. Not as cute as us though." He let out a small chuckle. Another pang to my heart.

"Yeah, I guess." I let out a chuckle as well. I kissed his cheek. "I love you Austin, and I won't stop. A love like ours, never ends. I'm happy for you and Grace. Take care of her. Don't ever contact me again." I said before walking away. I feel tons better now. And as I walked away, I heard a faint I love you too. That's all I'll ever need. People will always talk, but they don't always matter. If you love yourself, that's all you'll ever need, then people will either love you too, or they will try to knock you down and take what you have. Don't let them do it. Love who you want, and enjoy life, rather than hate life. Its a beautiful place. Don't worry about others, worry about yourself.

I called Dean. "I'm not coming home tonight, don't worry, don't ask. Tell my parents too. I'll be somewhere safe. I love you very much." Then I hung up, not waiting for him to reply.

I started walking. I walked to my grandparents old cabin. I come here when its to much. I always make sure its bugged, and taken care of. I love it here.

Sometimes, things become sad. Even when you think everything is okay, and you are finally happy. I refuse to let this hurt to much, I am strong, and I will still be happy. Austin did love me. Dean really loves me, and Jackie and Jacob love me. I have a great family, and friends who love me. And that's what really matters.