Even Broken People Need Love

6

After everything with my dad I still, even if I shouldn't had anger rusting through my body. I don't care if he thinks he's doing what's right, I can't believe he thought I would get up and go to school at 5am. Is he that insane? Like I know he had 2 kids, but really, suck a dick, because there's no way in hell I was getting up at 5am. And I know, you're probably like, DAMN Jessica, if I talked like that to my parents, in pain or not, I would get beat. The thing is, I never really act out. I try to always be on my best. But, holding in all that anger can get the best of you sometimes. Like, have you ever tired holding in all your feelings? I know, at one point it becomes to much and spill out everything.

I want to go to the gym, really bad. So I gather my items, and get prepared to go. I know I shouldn't but, I just can't stay away from the gym. Its like my second home. I got my phone, ear buds, and I put on my workout clothes, with a tight pony tail. I grabbed my Nike's, laced them, and went downstairs.

"Where are you going?" My mom looked at me, worry perfectly shown in her eyes, meaning she heard everything me and my dad said.

"To the gym, problem?" I didn't mean to sound like a bitch, but I can only handle so much. And I'm way past the limit. I let them push me around as a kid, but I'm almost 18. I can handle myself.

"Yes. I don't want you to go to the gym. You could get hurt."

"DO YOU KNOW HOW MANY GUYS I'VE BEAT THE FUCK OUT OF?" I screeched at her.

"YOU WILL NOT SCREAM AT ME MISSY OR YOU CAN GO RIGHT BACK TO YOUR ROOM."

"Cool. I can't wait to be out of this house, you controlling fuckers." I said, before leave the house, not slamming the door, but slumping down it. I put in my ear buds, but I sliently let the tears roll down my cheeks. Then there was that mystery boy, walking down the street with those beats. I just watched him. He must have felt the stare, because he looked up. He looked at me, as he kept walking, we kept staring. Blank expressions from both of us. He wasn't looking where he was going, and he ran into a street light pole. I let out a small giggle, and then another tear leaked out. I hadn't giggled in a while. Not a real giggle at the most. He looked fazed. He stood up from where he fell and walked over to where I was.

"You're the bitch from therapy?" He almost questions me. I wiped at my face, quickly getting defensive.

"Yep." I popped the P.

"I'm Dean. Dean Vaughan, hottest guy around, sexy beast, stronger than your side bitch." He winked.

"I don't have a side bitch." I stood up, crossing my arms.

"Nice rack." He commented. My mouth fell open at the comment. "Close your mouth before I make you."

"Did you actually just say that to me?"

"Yes, boo."

"I-I-I..." How does one even reply to this?

"You're welcome. See you later boo." He said leaving. "Jessica, by the way, don't be scared of me, I don't know what Wendy told you about me, but I'm not whatever she said I am."

"How did you know my name? And she only told me you had a hard life, and nothing was getting better."

"Wendy doesn't shut up about her other patients. She didn't tell me much, other than you're stubborn as fuck, and you hold a lot of pain in. You're a strong girl." He sighed. He waved, and started walking again. Tears started again. Strong? Maybe, maybe to strong for to long...

*-*-*-*

I didn't go back to sleep, I just sat on the porch, for a long while. Thinking, crying, releasing pet up pain. I felt tired, I felt sad, I felt numb. I didn't like it. But, I didn't really know what else to feel.

"Jess!" Someone called from inside the house. My mom.

"What mom?" I called back.

"You didn't go on your run? And who was that boy? I wanna meet him! He seemed nice enough! New boyfriend?! I'm so happy for you." She questioned me, so many different emotions in one simple statement.

"No, its for me to know, and you to find out, you won't ever meet him, he's not nice, and not my boyfriend." I replied, with no emotion at all.

"Well! Get your moody ass ready for school. You have an hour." I didn't reply, I don't care. After about 10 minutes I got up, went inside to shower, and hopefully look at little less dead.

I wore a short sleeve blue zebra shirt with sparkles, with dark blue jeans. I applied light makeup, hoping to cover up that I've been crying. I grabbed all my things from my room, preparing for the long day ahead.

*-*-*-*

"Hi." A voice said, standing next to me. It was Jackie.

"Hi." I say with a smile. "Shit. I'm so sorry I haven't been able to show you around, I totally forgot, I had a hard morning or I would have called you!"

"Its no biggie, really. But you are! Your outfit is adorable! Omg, where do you shop?!?" I wanted to tell her the truth, but I didn't.

"I got this shirt at Forever 21." I got it at a goodwill, on sale.

"CUTE! I wish I could afford there." She whispered.

"I lied, ha, I was scared. I've  never really been friends with anyone in awhile.." I sighed. "I got it at goodwill on sale, I could take you some time? They have really cute close, some lightly used!" I said.

"First thing about being a good friend is not lying to the person!" She giggled at my antisocial skills.

"Got it! I promise no more lying." I have a feeling I will still lie to her.

"Let's get going to class, what's your first class?" I told her and then we talked to class together. She is going to be the beginning  of my happiness. I'll start small, and go big, by finding love again. Someone out there will have to be able to deal with me, right?