She Wasn't Always a Witch

Death of a Mother (E)

The day before I was sent to the Blind Witch was the day my mama fell ill. Aunt Sabina was called upon an hour after mama went to bed. Aunt Sabina spent a great deal crying at mama's bedside. My nursemaid whispered to the cook 'plague' five times before she realized I was listening to her. Sabina sent me to the Blind Witch for a special drink to cure pain. When I came back with it, Sabin grabbed it out of my hands and ran to mama's room.

That night, a man of the cloth came to the house with a piece of cloth placed around his mouth. When he saw me, he whispered something to Aunt Sabina and she responded to his words by ordering my nurse to usher me to my room.

I couldn't sleep that night. It was the first day of winter and the wind was picking up. I tried to imagine the days when my father was alive but I could hear Sabina weeping which echoed down the halls. I remember feeling as if my whole world was crashing at my feet; as if the life I once knew, the women I would've become was being erased. What was a 5 year old to do? Looking about my room, my eyes settled upon the large window that was not covered in glass for the specific reason of allowing the wind into the rather drafty room.

Sneaking over to my bedroom door, I tried to open the heavy wooden door as quietly as possible. It creaked rather loudly in my opinion but my aunts wailing masked the noise. No one was in the corridor. Closing the door, I turned around and ran towards the open window. The rock scratched my hands and chafed against my nightdress. Grabbing onto the tree branch that was only a few inches away from my ledge, I began climbing down. No one was outside at the time of night.

From down on the ground, my aunts’ weeping was muffled but audible. Tears began wheeling in my eyes and I began to run. I ran aimlessly for what felt like miles. I ran to get away from my mother's death. I ran to get away from the looming future that was sure to be waiting for me in the morning. I ran to hold onto the women I might have been someday. I ran and ran for what felt like miles-without direction.

When I finally stopped, I nearly fainted I was so weak. Looking around I realized that the surroundings were strangely familiar. Turning towards the horizon, I saw that I was but a few feet away from my father's grave.

I do not recall how long I stood, sat, and lay there. I remember calling to my papa; asking him to watch over mama and guide her into heaven. After that, I have no recollection of what occurred next only that when I opened my eyes again the sun was just beginning to kiss the sky.

Rising from the cramped position off of the cold hard ground, I heard a metallic crunch. Wiping my eyes with the back of my hand, I turned and looked down at the source. My mother's gold locket. In that instance I knew. I knew my mama was with my papa in heaven. As the tears began to flow down my cheeks, I dawned the necklace around my neck. I decided it was best to go as slowly towards what was undoughtedly no longer my home.

When I arrived, I did not bother to take the tree up to my room but walked right through the front door. What I heard was silence and at the age of five I learned that silence was rather loud. Slowly going up the stairs, I saw a few maids here and there. None seemed to notice I was gone let alone my arrival. I went into my room and climbed into bed. Crawling under the covers, I hugged my pillow to my chest and simply lay there.

I do not know how long it was until my nursemaid entered my room. She informed me that my mother had died during the very early hours of the morning and was cremated while I was sleeping. Staring at my nursemaid, my mind became numb. I did not even acquire the chance to say goodbye to the only parent I had left in the world.

"Lady Nursemaid, why wasn't I informed of my mama's death?" I asked

"Lady Sabina did not believe a child should witness her mother's body being burned your Miss-ship. I spoke on your behalf that you be allowed to attend as she was the only parent left to you but she would not listen to a lowly nursemaid your Miss-ship."

"My mama is dead. I was not informed until after her cremation...." My 5-year-old mind was taking a vastly long time to process such horrid information.

"I'm so sorry for your Miss-ship's lose. Your mother was like a mother to me as well as yours your Miss-ship." She bowed to me slightly.

My mind, in a way, broke. I simply stared at the door even after my nursemaid left the room.