Oh, Green World!

This Apocalypse Isn't All About You

We got another chapter today:

Chapter 7: What Do I Do Before I Die?

Now, I am not dictating what to and not to do before your death; that is for you to decide. I am merely providing suggestions, as a neutral third-party. Do not blame me for not letting you skydive with your Chihuahua strapped to your chest while playing Rock Paper Scissors with your grandmother in mid-air. I didn’t know you wanted to that.

Go See Your Parents: Despite what you may think, this apocalypse isn’t all about you. Your parents are dealing with the fact that their children are dying. This may not seem like a big thing to you, because, hey, they’re dying too. Well, they care about you and your Spaghetti O’s eating ass a lot more than they do their own. At least go say goodbye.

Visit a Relative’s Grave: Pay your respects, because pretty soon you won’t even have a grave. You’ll just be a skeleton on the road somewhere.

Conquer a Fear: Afraid of heights? Go skydiving. Afraid of clowns? Go have sex with one. Scared of dying? Kill yourself. Well... Maybe not that one. But whatever you’re afraid of, conquer it to the point of obliteration. Unless you’re afraid of death. Just live with that.

Go to Church: I don’t care if you’re atheist, or agnostic, or whatever you are. Just go. Go for once. You don’t have to believe it. Just visit a church, sit there, soak it all in. Meet the people. Maybe they aren’t as bad as you think they’ll be. Or maybe they are.

Go See the Ocean: Everyone should see the ocean at least once. If you haven’t been in a while, go back. It’s pretty amazing to see such vast nothingness, and think that our planet will look like that in less than a year. Except even less.

That was the first thing that’s made me cry in a long time.

I didn’t even cry when I heard that I was going to die.