Miracles (In Four Separate Payments)

1K 138 7
                                    

I saw an infomercial on TV today that I found kind of funny, even though it was sad in a way, too.

It was this guy with a really weird mustache and a cane talking about how he’s “saving people from the Rapture,” and it showed this little Spanish lady who swore up and down that she’d be fine when the meteor hit.

He said that you could be, too, if you payed the small price of $174.99 in four separate payments. It’s not a lot for saving your life, he said.

Then, against all odds, he happened to fix a woman’s life-long struggle with being handicapped, just for shits and giggles. She payed the money, and he walked up and basically said “Fuck your crutches,” threw them across the stage, and then demanded she stand up and walk.

She did! What a miracle!

Money’s amazing.

To top it off, he’s from Wyoming.

Fuck Wyoming.

Oh, Green World!Where stories live. Discover now