Oh, Green World!

Spreading Rapidly

Mom keeps asking Toby if he’s been offered drugs at school.

He’s seven.

Apparently, however, according to her, the influence of drugs has “spread rapidly” since the announcement of our imminent death, and she’s just trying to be careful.

I told her that I’d love to see a bunch of seven year olds high off their ass, I think it’d be hilarious, but she told me to shut up and do the dishes.

Sometimes I don’t mind dying in a year.