As long as you remember

Back home.

After two days, Dr. Gibson let me got back my house. At first I was very happy and excited to finally be out side of that room with all that tubes and machines. But then the horrible and scary thoughts began. What if  someone saw me and recognised me but I don't remember his or hers name? What if I want to go somewhere and I get lost?

I tried to calm down and remember what the doctor said. "Clarissa, is very common in this case that you feel scary or under pressure about somethings. Whenever you feel like that, just breath and I totally recommend you to write about it. Some notes in your phone or a notebook will help you to remember things. If you can't or need some help, ask to your parents or someone you trust."

Apparently my brain is not as bad as I thought. I can remember some names, special dates and basic things. However I can't remember somethings that for me were more than normal or common. Dr. Gibson says I'm very lucky to have a good memory but I still need to work on it.

When I arrived home things were different. All the doors have notes for me to remember. "Tom's bedroom", "Mom' bedroom", " Garage", "Dogs room". I didn't remember we have two dogs, Jet and Kona both Airedale terriers.

Zoe walk to come closer to me and hug me and say "I'm very glad you are finally here". Tom also come closer and give me a blue box with an envelope.
"What is this?" I asked him but also look around to see if someone could tell me.
"Just open it." My dad said.

I open the box and leave the envelope aside.
"A phone? But I already have two of them. I mean, thanks but I'm fine with them." I say a little confused.
"Claris, you lost one of the phones on the accident. We need you to communicate not only with us, but with your friends." My mom said. "We didn't want to say anything at the hospital, but I'm very sure you noticed all the flowers and teddies that your friends sent ." And they just looked at me.

"Okay, thank you for everything. Really, you didn't have to bother." I needed to say something before they feel worst about my situation.

And actually that's very true. Since I woke up at the hospital I haven't seen someone that is not part of the family. I don't really remember when was the last time I talk with my old friends and with my friends from England. I don't even know if they know what happened to me. Maybe is better that less people know about my situation. I prefer them treating me as normal.

"I want to go to my room, so I will go upstairs if you don't mind" I said almost at the end of the room heading already to the stairs.

I get to what seems is my room or that's what the note on the door said. Mental note: second door to the left is your room. And I try to repeat that at least five times. Maybe like that something will remain in my useless head.
My room is bigger than I remember. The bed is in the middle of the red and white room. I have two doors from each side of the bed. One says "bathroom" and the other "closet". When I get to the second door instead of seeing the closet full of clothes is just the half of it occupied and on the left corner I see big league. It's almost empty except for some souvenirs from U.K. and an Ipad.
I get the tablet and go to my bed and start looking for something to make me remember. There is an app that seems like a diary and ask me for a password. Great, I'm screwed! On the upper corner says "open with fingerprint". Well now I love technology.

I start reading just dates, apparently I started this thing of writing on the 26/12/15.

26/12/14.
All starts here. With my new gift of christmas. Hopefully this thing helps me to remember all my important days!!

I continues reading until.

10/05/15

Finally graduated!! Things have been crazy since I decided to go to the U.K.
Apparently Samantha hates me a little bit because she thinks I'm staying there for the rest of my life. And she bets I will forget her.
She is insane! How could I forget someone so important for me!?
Anyways I will talk to her seriously and make everything clear.

I don't particularly remember that exact moment and that piss me off a little bit, but I still appreciate the old Clarissa wrote everything. It makes it easier to remember.

21/05/16

Everything is ready, I finished packing all my stuff from the little room and put it on the storage with Sophie's help. It's a shame she can not move with us next year. However I'm very sure we will communicate soon.

Sophie? Of course I remember her!! She was the latin girl I met there. We were together in some clases. But "can not move with us" what does that mean?
A nock on my door sound and I turn around. "Yes?"
Is my sister with a phone on her hand. "Clarissa, is Maya. She has been calling since one week or so. Do you want to talk to her?" Who is she? Who is she? Apparently my face says too much and she whispered. "She is your friend from Germany, the one with the dad died five years ago..." Ooh right I remember.

So she passed me the phone.
"Hello?"
"Claris! Oh my god, thank god you are fine. I'm so sorry. I have tried to reach you  weeks ago..." She sounds like crying.
"Hey, don't worry I'm fine really. But how do you know?" I reply.
"Oh well, we used to send messages to each other to see how was it going. And you told me you were going out with some friends. At first I thought you didn't answer because of that. But after a week I called you again on facetime and your sister answered me. She explained everything to me. I really wanted to be there, but you know how difficult is my situation." Fine I honestly remember all of that expect for the "situation" but I could figure it out.
"Maya, I'm fine really. You don't have to worry about me. I completely understand. I'm sorry you had to know about me that way. But I promise that everything is alright." I start making notes.
- remember the "situation of Maya"
- send her messages when you can.

And finally she says "I'm sure you must be exhausted, so I'm gonna let you sleep and please if you need something send me a message or call me!"
"Yes, don't worry I talk to you tomorrow. I promise".

When we finished the call I really notice how tiered I feel. So I just laid back on my bed and close my eyes.