Summertime Sadness (James McAvoy fanfiction)

Chapter 36: "Resurrect The Sun".

''I don't know what I'm going to do.'' I broke down again as I gazed my hands full of her, now dry, blood. ''I cannot take this anymore, any longer.''

''This will be over soon.'' He said and hugged me as if I were his little brother. ''The James I know is stronger than this.''

''That James is gone now.'' I mumbled.

''Look at me.'' He said angrily. ''It's not your fault, she's with you.''

''No, Michael.'' I sobbed, shaking my head. ''Don't lie to me.''

''I'm not lying, you crap.'' He said, crying this time. ''You both were made to be together, and soon you'll be.''

We waited there for hours. I couldn't stop crying. My head, body and eyes were about explode. Michael didn't leave me alone there. He tried to contact her brother and mother, but no one of them picked up the phone. It made me feel angry, also guilty because she didn't want them to know. But they still were her family, something that nothing could ever change.

''Family of Mrs. McAvoy?'' A doctor asked. I looked at him and got up as fast as I could.

''I'm her husband.'' I replied, knowing it wasn't true at all, but it didn't matter.

''And you are?'' The doctor asked Michael.

''I'm...'' He doubted.

''Her brother.'' I mumbled. ''What's on?''

''We've finished the surgery.'' He said checking some papers. ''Follow me.''

''But is she okay?'' I asked walking behind him.

''She's really weak right now, she's lost so much blood.'' He said and stopped in front of a door. ''One of you can see her first. Decide it quick.''

''Go, I'll wait for you here.'' Michael said and I nodded my head.

''Mr. McAvoy.'' The doctor said before he could open the door. ''She's sedated, so I don't know if she will speak with you.'' I nodded again and took a deep breath, waking into the room.

I sat holding her hand. She looked really pale, but still beautiful as always. I let myself cry in silence while I kissed her hand. Suddenly she grimaced in pain, so her eyes opened a bit.

''Hey.'' She mumbled and tried to smile. ''Where's he?''

''Who, dear?'' I asked her softly.

''James.'' She asked back with eyes closed, really sleepy.

''He's with you.'' I whispered crying.

''I love him.'' She smiled barely conscious. ''Probably I wasn't the best girlfriend and so much people thought we were going to break up soon.'' She paused. ''But he has to know I love and gave him my heart.'' She coughed, letting go a tear.

''Mr. McAvoy?'' The doctor asked again, opening the door. ''It's time to leave.''

''He loves you so much that it hurts.'' I mumbled and kissed her forehead. ''I've got to go, my dear.''

''How's she?'' Michael asked me as I leaned my body on the corridor's wall.

''Sedated.'' I mumbled. ''She didn't recognize me, and asked where I was.''

''At least she can talk.'' Michael said and sat by my side.

''Michael, I saw tears falling from the corners of her yes because of the pain.'' I said. ''Her words were like a goodbye.'' I said with a small voice, trying to control myself until I heard a rending cry coming from her room. ''What's going on?'' I shouted, trying to walk in.

''Stay right here, sir.'' A nurse said, blocking me. ''Probably she woke up.''

''I need.'' I said shaking. ''I need to see her, to calm her, please.''

''I do understand.'' She sighed. ''But this is my job.''

''Help me, please.'' I heard her beg. ''Mama, wo bist du jetzt?'' She cried in German this time.

''She's asking where's her mother now.'' Michael whispered and gave me a worried look.

''Do you speak German?'' The nurse asked Michael. He looked at her confused. ''It's an emergency.''

''Yeah, I do.'' He said.

''Speak to her, we can't supply her the treatment.'' She said.

''He has to come with me.'' Michael raised his eyebrows.

''Yeah, whatever, but quick!'' She said and we, finally, got into the room.

''Victoria.'' Michael said. ''Sehen Sie mich!''

''Wo ist James?'' She sobbed. ''Ich kann nicht mehr.''

''James.'' Michael called me. ''Hold her hand, she needs you.'' He paused. ''Er ist hier.''

''I'm here.'' I whispered, taking her hand. ''You've just woken up, and they're going to give you the medicine, okay?'' I said trying to relax her.

''James.'' She tried to repeat crying. ''Es tut mir Leid.'' She said.

''Look at me.'' I said. ''I love you. No more tears.'' I mumbled squeezing her hand with tears.

''Ich...'' She sobbed in a small voice. But she couldn't say anything else, she fell asleep as the doctors sedated her for once.