The Most Beautiful Lie

Chapter Seventeen // Butterfly

I'm walking to an all too familiar place, somewhere I used to call home. It's dark and awkward, I'm walking alongside a girl who plays classical music but is bizarre. She's so beautiful, I have never seen her not smiling, besides the times she is threatening to hurt me. Vara asked me to walk her to the boys dorm because she is still new and is afraid to get lost, she is meant to meet up with Tae. "Something has been bothering me." She says suddenly, well this is knew, I haven't met a girl who tells someone this; they usually beat around the bush.
I reply "what?"
She looks at me "when I told the two young boys you could dance you told them you shouldn't... No you couldn't. Why did you lie?"
"Lied? I did not." I say swiftly.
She stops in her tracks "but you're Hoseok winner of the Gwanju Dance Competition."
"You know that? How do you know that?" I asked stunned.
She lets out a small chuckle "everyone musician of our generation who performs at Gwanju Concert Hall knows who you are." She pauses "plus you're in one of the biggest rising boy bands here... Well you were."

I'm a bit irritated that my accomplishments have been following me lately, because they chain me down to something I no longer am. But how can I be angry at her, it's not her fault it anyone's fault. They have no idea what I am going through. "I can't hear the music, so I can't dance."

"What do you mean? Are you going deaf?" She questions.

I laugh a bit and reply "no it doesn't affect me in everyday life but I can't hear my music, when it benefits me. You know... I can't feel it."

"So that's why you stopped." She continues to walk, she ahead of me. We are silent the whole way there. She doesn't say a word, she clearly has something in her mind. We make our way to the dorm. I walk her directly to the door, I'm about to leave when they open the door. It's Yoongi. "Hoseok... You're here... With Vara."

Vara replies "we bumped into eachother and I asked him if he could walk me. He was very kind to accept my request."

"I was about to go." I say awkwardly making my way out.

"Stay!" Vara shouts out. Both Suga and I stare at her confused. "I mean you came all this way, you should at least have a cup of coffee or tea or water. Don't you think?" She says looking at both me and Suga, her smile is bright as well as her eyes how can we refuse.

As soon as I enter the dorm, my heart becomes heavy, guilt is taking over. Everyone is in the living room, they look exhausted from practice. I kind of miss those days, you know the days where you think you can barely move but that's because you put your heart into it. You actually worked your butt off and got the results you wanted, when you know that you did it and that is reason you love for.
"Hey you're here! What a nice surprise!" Jin says as he rubs the top of my head with his palm, messing my up my hair. Everyone gives me the good old fashion bro hug, they seem so happy to see me. As I look around the dorm everything looks the same but the feelings is different.
I wonder what they did with my room. They must have made it into a closet or a storage for all fan gifts.
No one asks why I'm here, nor do they act like I'm a guest, it feels like I never left. That's the way they made me feel. If it weren't for the guilt I was feeling of leaving, then this night would have been one of the best nights I've had in nearly 2 years.
Everyone is drinking a beer, they offer Vara and I one but we both decline. We both say we don't drink. They give us a cup of tea. "Let's get down to business." Vara says when we are all settled down and over the excitement of having company.
I'm confused. This is when Tae sighs "neither of us can. We're all too busy, I with the drama I have coming up. Yoongi and Namjoon working on music and solo stuff. Kookie and Jin are MC-ing for Music Bank. Then Jimin has a commercial and a variety show appearance that day so we can't were just too busy. I hope you understand."

Although what's I'm hearing sounds like bad knews her smile never leaves her face she gets up "it's okay, I understand. I'll figure out what I will do. Thank you for considering my request. I think I should head home."