I'm Her Boyfriend?! (HAYG Sequel)

CHAPTER 45: 10th Reason

“Oh,” She craned her neck to look behind her and then looked back at me. “I’m baking cookies.”

“Yum,” I said which made her gaped at me. “Seriously Alexa, stop that expression. You’re creeping me out.” I told her cringing my nose.

“No!” She protested. “You,” She pointed her gloves at me. “You are the one who’s creeping me out.” My eyebrows knitted in confusion. “Why are you smiling like that? You never smiled like that. You never talk to me first since… since… Oh my god.” She placed her gloves to cover her mouth and looked at me in horror. “Should I call the mental institution now to pick you up? I can’t believe this. Mom would—“

“Stop it, Alexa! What are you talking about?” I asked narrowing my eyes at her.

She stopped and looked into my eyes. Her hands were now hanging loosely on her side and her face showed complete sadness. “You were smiling,” She trailed off not taking her eyes off me. I suddenly got why she’s acting like a complete lunatic earlier. I sighed and hugged her. I’m pretty sure she was surprised by my actions. “Grey,” She said.

“There’s a chance that I’ll be seeing her next week,” I told her.

“A chance?” She asked and I pulled away.

I sighed. “Yeah. I’ll go to New York next week to perform on a fashion show. Who knows? I might see her there.” I smiled at the thought.

“What if you don’t see her? Are you gonna get back to the zombie Greyson?” A worried expression was etched on her face which made me chuckle.

“Zombie Greyson?” I smirked.

“Yeah!” She exclaimed. “Alive but emotionless. You won’t talk to me unless I talk to you first. You’re not calling mom and dad. You’re not hanging out with Joel and Eben anymore. Your smiles on your interviews and album launch are all fake. If you don’t have work, you’re isolating yourself on the room down the basement. The Greyson we knew was gone when she left.” She was panting. Like she was keeping those words to herself for a long time and now that she had the chance to blurt it all out, she felt relieved.

I suddenly felt guilty. “I’m so sorry. I honestly don’t know what happened to me. I tried to contact her when she left. You knew that. But Alexa, she told me she doesn’t need any distractions. I accepted that but at the back of my mind I was thinking it was just her reason so I would stop pursuing her. She badly wanted me to stop because she hates me. That’s why she was pushing me away because she hates me! And it hurt like hell, Alexa. I still am hurting and I don’t fucking know why am I feeling like this. I mean, so what if she hates me? Right?” Shaking my head, I let out a fake chuckle. Alexa’s eyes softened and were looking at me ruefully. “No. Because no matter what happens, at the end of the day, I still find convincing myself that she really doesn’t hate me-- that we’re okay and that she’s still my dork and I’m his annoying jerk.” My voice sounded so pathetic and desperate.

Alexa pulled me in for a hug and I found myself hugging her back. “I didn’t know she told you she doesn’t need any distractions.”

“But I’m okay Alexa.” I assured her.

“Yeah, because you might see her next week.” She smiled, pulling away.

I matched her smile. “But if I don’t…“ I paused and she listened intently. I sighed. “No, I will see her. No matter what happens.”

She giggled. “You must really love her.” She remarked and my smile slowly faded away.

I was feeling so helpless and devastated when she went to New York. I can’t find myself to smile. It’s like a big part of me was torn off. And now that there’s a chance that I’ll see her again, I was all giddy and happy. Is that really how it feels to be in love?