Out of Tune

1 : the beginning

a/n: hi there, thanks for continuing! italics are sometimes her subconscious or flashbacks. hope you enjoy and don't forget to vote. x

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1 ; the beginning

  

  

I slammed the door, angrily, rushing out into the black night. Various emotions swirled within my mind but I couldn't distinguish any. Was it sadness? Pain? Resentment? My father's screaming words still echoed throughout my body.

You're a disappointment to our family! How could you harm yourself like that?! I thought I taught my daughter better! Fucking disgrace.. Get out of my house!

The thought brought more tears to my eyes. One trickle down as another formed, like one rainy day after another. I thought back to all the times my father has burst out.

I found myself chuckling darkly. Too many to count.

           

I took the next bus to Williamsburg. I needed a drink to calm my nerves and I knew Curly was just the right guy that would, without doubt, hook me up with a few. Looking out the window, I watched as the bus passed by a few drunk teenage girls in tiny club dresses, clinging onto each other while sharing the best laugh of their lives. Staring at them suddenly made me feel bitter. It was unfair how God could treat certain people with such great things while watch as others suffer.

I shook the thought away and glanced down at my tear-stained black tee. I pulled my sweatshirt up my shoulders, revealing my scars. Some were just scabs, while others were freshly open with crimson fluid leaking out of the broken skin. Father's words circled back to me like a new Porsche drifting back around.

"What am I supposed to do with you?" he asked, exasperated. "you don't succeed in school, you use my money, you come home every day and do nothing but mope, and now you cut? Aren't you ashamed of yourself? Look at Dylan, he's planning on studying med and has his whole career planned out. Couldn't you be a little like him?"

I was pulled back into reality when the bus driver yelled, "this is the last stop! Everyone please get off!" I met his dark eyes through the driver mirror reflection. Snapping out of my daze, I quickly glanced around. Realizing I was the only one still on (and he was actually only shouting at me) I murmured a quiet apology and briskly stepped out. The cold air hit me like a brick. The gas fumes of the departing bus twirled around my nostrils as I watched it grunt then speed off. Wrinkling my nose, I looked around. As I expected, the bar was.. five blocks back. I'd forgotten to get off earlier. Without thought, I turned south and I started the slow walk to rapture.

As I walked down the street and passed by smiling strangers, I released my inner thoughts. Perhaps father was right. What was I supposed to do after I graduate? I had no special talents, I wasn't the top of my class, after school I go straight home and stare at my laptop 'til my eyes bleed.

I bowed my head as I watched more people's shoes pass. I was . . my eyes swelled and tears threatened to fall. . worthless. My family would even be better off without me. At least I wouldn't take up space in their tiny New York apartment.

Stop.

A rogue tear slipped past my velvet drapes and landed splat on my Converse.

Watch out for the green light.

What, really, was I doing here in this world?

I had no purpose here. If I was gone I wouldn't---

BEEEEEEEEEEEP!

My head snapped to the left and I froze dead in my tracks like a deer in front of a car's headlights, caught and frighten. I gazed at the speeding, blinding white light ahead of me.

Then suddenly, as if all clicked together, I relaxed. Perhaps this was my time to go. God had realized and heard my pleading calls. I closed my eyes and smiled, welcoming the oncoming truck.

Mint chocolate.

Abruptly, a hand gripped my sweatshirt and swiftly pulled me into his warm embrace. My eyes flipped out and widen in pure surprise. The rapid beating of my heart matched my stranger's as we heard the ongoing truck blew pass.

We stood, rooted to our spots, like that for another ten seconds. My mind was still in a state of shock from what had happened. However, all I could feel was the warm and tingly feeling this stranger was capable of making me feel. And for a second, it felt like nothing else mattered. My father's disappointed speeches, depression, grades, life.

"Judas! Hurry, you have five minutes 'til you perform!"

Still dazed, the seeping warmth left me as soon as it came. I was greeted back by the cold, frigid air.

My eyes met with a pair of dark, conflicting orbs. Then he turned and jogged away.

And so it begins.

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