The One Who Never Love Me

Play the song to the right, now, for added effect...

Dear diary,

I cant stop thinking about the good times we shared. I know those aren't good enough reasons to go back to him, but they were happier times for me. It was a time where I didn't suffer and didn't cry every night. Those memories were so happy. We were young and innocent. He came to me when he needed help. He told me his secrets and his dreams and his greatest fears. He was supposed to be my friend. When I saw him cry over me, when he held me in his arms, when he looked into my eyes, I could have sworn there was truth behind those beautiful brown eyes, but how wrong could I be. He wants nothing to do with me, but I don't know why. He made so many promises and broke all of them and left my heart shattered.

Why did I have to meet him? Why did he have to be so charming? Why was I so foolish? And why did I think he cared?

Who would ever care about me? I'm just the guy who manages to screw up everything good that happens to him, so why should that change now? I don't understand why I am always the victim. Did I do something to hurt him? I didn't think so.

My name is Zayn Javaad Malik. I am the boy down the street that always screws stuff up. I have many loyal friends but even they don't understand the pain I go through every day. It's hard when you walk through the halls of high school with a smile on your face when all you feel like it curling up into a ball and sobbing your eyes out. Every day it's something new that brings me down. I'm tired of the fake smiles and the pretend friendships and unrealistic expectations...

My name is Zayn, and this is my story... The story about how the love of my life never loved me back... How my best friends mocked me everyday...How my family doesn't know the real me. The story about the longest 3 years of My life. It is time for me to get this off of my chest. I want to be happy, like truly happy.

I got a text from Liam I'll tell you what he said...

Zaynie I have been a grade a douche bag and dick to you, and with me not even noticing just shows me how big of a dick I have been to you and I'm sorry about that. You have always been one of my best friends and you didn’t deserve any of the things I put you through. All you did was kill me with kindness. IDK when or why I just randomly became a dick to you, But I’m sorry, And I didn’t forget about you, And I never will. I get it if you hate me, I just wanted, no I needed you to know that I’m sooooo sorry. Please please…

you're probably wondering why he would text me something like that...Shall I start from the begging....

How It Started:

I strutted into the building for my first day of school. 11th year will be the easiest year ever, (boy was I wrong,)This will be my best year by far, I know it. How do I know it? because I have great friends and a clean slate...

I see out of the corner of my eye my best friend in the entire world(or so I thought at the time)Liam. I don't know why we bonded so well, he's so popular and I'm, well me. I'm not saying I'm the class nerd or something, I'm pretty popular myself, but not like him.. I have known him since 1st grade, but somehow it has taken 10 years for us to realize that we are basically the same person. I run up to him and hug him from behind. "Liam!I scream in his ear. He turns around to face me and an enormous smile grows across his face showing his cute little birthmark that I love so much, that I Iove in just a friendly way right? Of coarse Liam is my best friend and people say those kind of things about their best friends all the time... right? Yes. What am I freaking out about, oh yeah nothing, because this is perfectly normal. Liam's deep voice, breaks me from my thoughts.

"Z, I've missed you so much!" he yells while giving me another hug. Is it strange that my best friend has never asked me to hang out with him outside of school? Of coarse not, it's completely normal and ok. That is what all best friends do, they admire each other from afar...right?

"I missed you too, I wish I could have seen you this summer" I say with optimism in my voice. He just nods and looks towards the floor. ok then.

"Will you walk me to my first class?' I ask as the boys from his football team walk past us with some of the school sluts, calling out his name.

"oh um no I can't and I probably won't be able to talk to you much today, but I will text you tonight I promise."

"oh um...ok bye I guess" I say, and with that he runs off to catch up with his other friends. That was nothing. He's not going to ditch me on the first day of school right? I guess I just need to get used this stuff, I'm going to be late for my first hour class any way so I should just hurry up and stop worrying over nothing.

During English, my first hour, I can't stop thinking about Liam. His beautiful brown eyes. His one adorable birthmark. His sexy voice...I just can't help my self. I have absolutely no clue what the teacher is saying or what she wants us to do. I'm just sitting here stuck in a Liam funk.

Liam is just my friend and nothing more...or is he?

Oh why do I keep lying to myself?

Zayn you like your best friend, and there is absolutely nothing wrong with that

Ugh!! I wish the voice in my head would just shut up! I do not like Liam and I never will!

The more you disagree with your heart the more your body will suffer...

Oh great now my conscious is some wise philosopher/ fortune cookie or something along those lines.

You like him...

No I don't!

You might even love him

Oh my God definitely not! How do I shut my mind up. when will the bell ring so I can go home and get my thoughts straightened out?!

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That's How it all started. The one who is supposed to be my best friend. I should have seen it. I should have realized something was wrong when he ditched me on the first day of school. I should have noticed this was all fake after I spent every day of that summer hoping he would text me, but he never did. I should have known... Why didn't I? He just had this thing about him that drew you in. It wasn't his looks, but those did help, it was his infectious smile and wonderful personality.

He hurt me. not physically, but emotionally. He tore down my walls and got me to tell him my secrets, then he ditched me out of no where... So dear diary thank you for being the only "person" I can truly tell everything to...

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Notes:

Hey this is my new fanfic called the one who never loved me . I hope you like this first chapter!

please read my other fic, it is a Ziall story...

I love writing fan-fiction and I hope you all like my stories.

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