The Real Me [H.S]

39.

MIA

"All you had to do was trust me."

"You're the one that's leaving..."

"You're the one that isn't stopping me."

And I didn't stop him. I let him go. There was nothing I could say or do that would've made him stay. I knew he would find out but I thought I could of told him in a way he would've understood. Not the way it happened. The way he found out because he over heard my conversation and saw me take the wig off. That has to hurt more finding out that way. I didn't want him to find out that way. I haven't stopped crying as I walked back to my dressing room, stepping in and seeing not only Kim and Andy but now my mum, standing there, waiting for me.

"He left me." I cried and fell to the floor, not being able to hold myself anymore.

"Hey, its ok" Andy said as him and Kim rushed to my side.

"I don't know..." I trailed off, not being able to say much with how much I was crying.

"We'll sort this out together, we'll get through this together" Kim announced.

"No its not!" I shouted pushing her and Andy away from me, standing walking towards my mirror. "We wont figure this out because this is all my fault. You guys don't need to get me out of it everytime I do something wrong! I wanted to do something for myself for once and look how that turned out. The person I love has left me and I'm now going to lose everyone else because the media is going to be so horrible about this!" I shouted, letting all my sadness and angry out on them when it was really meant to be aimed at me.

"Mia, you're going to lose everyone because you're pushing us away when we're trying to help you!" Kim shouted back as Andy just stayed quiet, watching and listening to everything that was being said.

"I don't need your help! I need to get through this on my own for once! Stop trying to fix everything when I don't need you too, Kim!"

"Whatever, Mia" She scoffed and walked out the room.

Andy looked at me for while before following Kim out. I screamed as I chucked everything off of the counter on to the floor. That's when I started to cry again, falling to the floor with everything else in the process.

"Mum..." I cried out as I looked up at her. "I'm losing everyone and I don't know what to do. I don't want to hurt them but I want to sort this out on my own. Help me mum please..." I announced as my mum came and sat next to me.

"We're going to sort this out, I promise. We'll get this whole secret out and you and I can sort that out, to make sure that all goes ok as it can. Then we'll sort everything else out. But honey, right now, you need to sort yourself out and figure out what you want" Mum said, being my wise mother that I've needed since the start.

"I want this secret out, that's what I want" I admitted.

"Ok honey. I will call some shows and see if I can get you on them tomorrow morning and we will announce it straight away. We don't want someone finding out from someone else. They need to hear the whole story from you, so we'll sort that out and then after that then we'll deal with everything else ok?" She asked and I nodded. "Come on, lets go home" She announced and helped me off of the floor.

The ride home was quiet and I enjoyed the comfortable silence. It helped me think.

My mum is right about this needing to happen tomorrow but for some reason I felt like it was too soon, especially with what just happened today. However I knew I would be strong enough to do this. This is me starting over. This is my chance to sort everything out. Just like mum said, I need to sort out myself first, figure out what I want. And the first step to that is letting everyone know the real me. I don't want to lie to the fans anymore, I don't want to lie to anyone anymore. I've now seen what these lies have done to my life and I don't want to lose anyone else. I'm going to end all this now and for all. I don't know if I'll ever get Harry back and if I don't, I'll have to be fine with that. If I don't I just hope he some day forgives me and understands why I did it. I also hope if we don't end up together in the end that he finds someone who treats him better because he deserves the world and so much more. His the best thing that has ever happened to me and I managed to lose him and I may not be ok with it now but hopefully I will be soon. I just need to sort myself out before I sort everything else out, like my mum said.

HARRY

When I got to my flat all I wanted to do was go to bed and sleep on everything I just found out today but of course the world was against me, as sitting in my living room shouting at the football was the boys. I thought I could sneak past without them knowing but it turns out I couldn't.

"Hey Haz, I hope you don't mind us being here, we just wanted to hang out?" Niall announced looking up from the TV to me and I shook my head.

"No its fine" I choked out and that made all the boys look at me.

Liam turned the TV on mute and they all stared at me as they saw my tear stained cheeks, as on the drive here my tears finally fell.

"Whats up Haz?" Lou asked and I could see concern in all of there faces.

"I just found out something that has changed everything" I announced, sitting down on the sofa with them all. We all squeezed on the same sofa like old times.

"What?" They all asked and I sighed, not knowing if I was ready to replay what happened but knowing I have no choice.

"Lucy and Mia are the same person"

"What?"

"Wow"

"Really?"

"No way?! How you know that?"

"I over heard her talking with Kim and Andy in her dressing room after the show and I saw her take the brown wig off." I explained and they all looked confused.

"Why would she-?"

"I don't know Niall. We agrued and I left, that's it. Now if you don't mind can I go to bed?" I asked and they all nodded.

"Yea you probably want to sleep on it" Liam suggested and I nodded as I got up from the sofa.

"Harry, if you want to talk about it, you know where we are" Louis said and I nodded again.

"I know thank you guys. I love you"

"Love you too mate" They all chorused and went back to watching the football but in silence.

I know they didn't want to make a sound for my sake but I also knew they were going to stay the night incase I needed someone. They knew I didn't like talking about things as soon as they happen, so they knew tomorrow would be the time I would need them the most. I just hope everything gets sorted out in the end and everything becomes ok.

________________________________________________

I KNOW QUITE A BORING CHAPTER BUT IT NEEDED TO BE DONE FOR THE NEXT COUPLE OF CHAPTERS.

THE NEXT TIME I WILL UPDATE WILL PROBABLY BE TOMORROW BECAUSE I HAVE A DAY OFF WORK SO I CAN UPDATE WHENEVER OR ALL DAY TOMORROW:)

HOPE YOU ENJOYED IT!

LOVE YOU ALL

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