Tear Me Apart- A Middle Earth Story

Somewhere

"Sorcery!" One of Dain's dwarf soldiers shouted at Abbie when she passed by them her head held high. She had known their reaction would be something similar to that. After all, she had been a hobbit when they had last seen her. Now she stood taller than all of them. But she had decided that she had enough to deal with in that moment rather than the discontempt of the dwarves. Yes, she might not have been the innocent hobbit they thought she was. But she was, and would always remain, Thorin's wife. There was no way they could question that.

A pang of pain hit Abbie's chest when she found herself searching for the trusting faces of Fíli and Kíli in the crowd, but realized that they were not there. They were laying on stone podiums in front of her, with candles lit all around their lifeless bodies. The two brothers and former heirs of Durin were clad in their battle robes, but the blood had been washed off. Abbie walked up to Kíli first, and smiled as tears started pooling down her cheeks. The sound of the sad dwarven music playing in the background, the smell of candles and the burning ache in her heart was too much to stay strong. The queen let the tears flow and touched her friend's cold cheek, despite the risk that it would show weakness. As she moved on to Fíli, she thought of the way he always cared for his little brother. The way he had stayed with him when he was wounded, and how he always joked with Abbie to make her feel better. She found herself wondering why all the good souls were those lost. While three of her loved ones had passed away, scum like Alfrid were still alive. But, Death wasn't fair.

Indeed, it wasn't fair, she repeated to herself when she reached her dead husband. Orcrist was gripped in the king's hand, and the Arkenstone glimmered on his chest. Abbie couldn't keep herself from sobbing when she looked upon his face. It looked peaceful, almost as if he were asleep. It reminded her of the morning after their marriage, and the memory hurt her like a stab in the chest. But the Queen bowed down and placed a soft kiss on Thorin's forehead, feeling the touch of his skin against her lips for the last time. Emptiness filled her heart as she pulled away and had a last look at him.

She wouldn't remember him like that; lifeless and cold. She would remember him like the fierce soul he was. She would remember how alive he had felt when they had made love, how there was a constant burning glow in his eyes. How he had fought to protect his loved ones, and their child.

Abbie joined the company next to Gandalf as his voice rang across the Great Hall.

"The king is dead!" He spoke powerfully, and Abigail watched as Dain walked up before his soldiers with the crown on his head. She remembered their conversation a few hours earlier. 

"Lord Dain, before you say anything about my condition–" Abbie held up a hand when she saw that her cousin-in-law was about to explode.

"I'm an elf. I've always been. I've just been in a different form. Thorin knew and he loved me." She explained, seeing doubt fill the dwarf's eyes. He was clearly not believing that Thorin had known, but Abbie had had some experience with stubborn dwarves.

"I know, elves are your enemies. And that, is exactly why I'm giving the right to the throne to you." Shock spread against the dwarf's face, and Abbie smiled. "But, I have two conditions."

"And what is that, may I ask?" Dain asked. Abigail would have felt offended for his lack of formality towards her; she was still his queen for the moment, but circumstances were different.

"Firstly, I want to say my goodbye to my husband as the Queen of Erebor, his queen. Therefore, your title as king is only valid after the funeral ceremony. Secondly, you will only be king until I see my heir or heiress ready to rule. And I count on you to help them and educate them on how to rule a kingdom." Abigail looked down at the dwarf below her, straight into his eyes. She knew that her presence as an elf intimidated him, but she was not intimidated by dwarves. A thought flashed through her mind; she quite liked having this new power over people as an elf. She was no longer 'just a little girl'. Then, that thought reminded her of Thorin's old nickname for her, and she regretted the thought.

"Are we agreed?" She asked the dwarven lord, who seemed deep in thought. Finally, he reached out his hand.

"Yes, My Queen." Dain bowed his head, and Abbie granted him a grateful smile.

Now, he bowed his head down to her in gratefulness from across the big room. Balin stepped out and held up his axe to Abbie's right.

"Long live the king!" He shouted, and the whole room repeated the sentence. Abbie knew that they were not only honoring Dain, but remembering Thorin in loving memory, just as she would.

"I can't go back to the Shire, father." Abigail answered Bilbo the next morning. A bag was slung over her shoulder, filled with all her belongings. Well, not all of them, but the ones she cared to keep. Hung around her neck was the sapphire necklace she had seen Thorin looking at, and she had kept Thorin's mother's wedding dress as well.

"Then where will you go?" Bilbo exclaimed desperately. Abbie saw the pain in his eyes, but put her hand on his.

"I need to go somewhere where I do not see his face everywhere, father. There are too many memories. How am I ever supposed to be happy again if all I can think of is my loss?" She argued, but her voice was soft. She heard the calls of the people of Dale in the background as she was standing at the entrance to what had been her kingdom. Everyone was recovering from the battle, and trying to build up their temporary homes again. Abbie hoped that the humans would be able to stay there for generations to come; they certainly deserved it.

"And what about me? I can't lose you too, Abbie. You're all I have left now." Bilbo said, and Abigail's attention was directed back to her father. She saw the raw pain in his eyes and lowered herself down in a crouching position to meet him eye-to-eye.

"You won't lose me, father. We will meet again. And I'll write letters to you every day, I promise." She told him softly. She tried to sound strong and confident, but in reality it felt as if she was barely even holding herself together.

"If you don't, I'll come find you and take you home." Bilbo said with a sad smile, trying to look strict. Abigail laughed and embraced her father in a big hug.

"You've grown so much, my daughter." He mumbled into her hair.

"That's because I'm an elf." She replied with a chuckle.

"I meant mentally, but of course you've grown in size too." Bilbo replied sarcastically. "I could not be a prouder father." He pulled back and gave Abbie a wide smile.

"I love you." She said, wiping a tear on her sleeve. Even though she had already said goodbye to nearly everyone she loved that was left, this one was the hardest.

"I love you too." Bilbo said as Abbie backed away from him. As soon as she had turned away, he wiped his tears away with his sleeves as well.

Abigail was riding down the path from Erebor when she heard the trumpets behind her.

"Lord Thranduil." She said as the elk joined her side. The blonde elf bowed his head to her, but she didn't knew whether it was of approval or respect.

"Where are you heading, if I may ask?" He asked the she-elf as they kept following the path side by side.

"Somewhere." She answered him with a smile.

"The roads to 'somewhere' are dangerous for a lonely she-elf." The elven king stated, and Abigail looked at him with an offended expression.

"Are you telling me you don't think I can take care of myself, my king?" She replied with a wink, once again surprised by how her new language rolled off her tongue so easily.

"Oh no, I was merely proposing that my king's guard and I accompany you on your road to 'somewhere', or at least until we reach my kingdom." Thranduil explained with a laugh. It was strange to see him laugh, he seemed free in some way.

"Well that's an offer I cannot decline." Abigail answered with a thankful smile, and they continued their path together.

Abbie had no idea where she was going, but in some way that didn't bother her. Because even though she hadn't found her home yet, her heart had. It was buried below the mountain with Thorin, and it would remain there for the rest of her eternal life. It should have filled her with sadness and dread, but she felt stability at the thought.