Crossed out [KSIMON]

Blackhole

I learnt out Simon's window, cigarette between my lips blowing the smoke out his window while staring down at the streets below. I breath in the sweet bliss of calmness released, that's something I need right now. Calm... Or drugs any of the two would be great. I put out my fag and flick it out the window watching it drop below me. Turning away from the window I see Simon had woken up and is sitting on his sofa.

"Why do you do it?" Simon asked.

"Do what?" There's a lot of bad life chooses I've made that Simon doesn't understand.

"The smoking, the drinking." he started and pointed to the scars over my arms and my bare chest, "All of them."

"Long story." I shrug, "One of which i don't wish to tell if I'm being completely honest with myself."

Simon runs his hands along the cuts on my body, "Can you at least start to tell me."

"A simple google of Olajide Olatunji will tell you everything you need to know about my story, well the foundations of it." I really don't have the effort to explain to him and after last night I couldn't lie to him.

"That's other people's version of your story." He pulled me to sit down next to him, "And I want to hear your version."

"Let's just say something happened and I spiralled down into a deep hole called depression and that numbs the pain a little." I yawn, "The cutting is because it makes sense."

"You either going to get better or your going to die so what's the point because if you do get better your just left with scars." That don't s make sense but I don't plan to live.

"Yeah I get that but I deserve every cut and every scar I inflict upon myself."

"Don't speak like that you deserve the world." He pulls me closer towards him and starts to kiss the cuts on my arm making me wince when he kissed the fresher ones, "Soon theses will fade to scars and them scars will then fade and everything will get better JJ."

"I don't deserve you." Simon started to run his fingers along old scars, "I don't deserve someone so pure and loving."

"You deserve love JJ."

"A blackhole just sucks anything that gets close inside it and destroys it. I don't want to destroy you." I mutter.

"Your not a blackhole your just being dragged into one and I'm going to help you escape." Why would he do that, don't he know that he's only going to get hurt?

"Anyone who gets close to me only ends up hurting." I wipe the tears that start rolling down my cheeks away with my hand before Simon pushed my hands aways and does it himself, "I don't want to hurt you I couldn't live with myself if I corrupted somebody so pure."

"I'm not as pure as you think."

"Purer that me."

"Look JJ I love you I don't care if you think you will hurt me. I won't let you push me away." Simon pulls me closer towards him so I'm crying into his shirt, "It would be easier if you let me in but even if you don't I'm staying."

"If you stay I will only hurt you." I cry into his top.

"Well that's a risk I'm going to have to take."

Authors note

I hope you guys like this chapter vote comment ect. I'm not sure if I mentioned it but I'm SDMNanom on Twitter so follow me and I'll follow back.

Hugs, kisses and peace ✌🏻️