Last update for the week! Start na ng classes ko next week so baka maging once a week lang pag update ko. Enjoy reading! :)
-Gabby
To God Be the Glory!
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I already planned the next 50 years of my life and getting married is not on my list. I never dreamed of getting married nor having a man who will be at my side. To be a woman of my own... That's my goal but then one day I felt that my life is getting boring and monotonous that's why I wished for a change. I asked for a change, not a husband.
Naalala ko noon nagalit ako kay Mama dahil hindi niya pinag laban si Papa para mabawi niya at mabuo kami kaya sinabi ko sa sarili ko na hinding hindi ako tutulad sa kanya. Kung mapapunta man ako sa sitwasyon niya ay gagawin ko ang tama at nararapat. High school ako nung pinagako ko sa sarili ko 'yan. I was ambitious, idealistic, and impulsive. Sinabi ko 'yan sa harap ng nanay ko at alam kong nasaktan ko siya. Habang tumatagal ang panahon at nakikita kong nasasaktan si Mama, sinabi ko sa sarili ko hindi ako mag aasawa para hindi ako maging katulad ni Mama na tanga at lango sa pag ibig. Makalipas ang ilang taon, I found myself in my mom's shoes. Just like her, I know what's right but I don't how to fight for him.
Paano mo ipag lalaban ang isang taong hindi mo naman alam ang posisyon mo sa buhay niya?
Paano mo ipag lalaban ang isang taong hindi mo naman alam kung ano talaga siya para sa'yo?
The only thing that connects us is a sheet of paper and anytime it can be terminated. All we need is to pass a petition and sign the divorce papers given by the court. TADA! I'm single again and no longer associated with Thomas.
Madaling gawin.
But I'm too dumb because I already attached to him. And I don't know if there's a way to detach myself.
Silence continued playing in my ears. Uncertainty covered my whole body while questions invaded my mind. As I looked at her, the saintly and god like atmosphere were vanished in the thin air. We're now both mortals with a broken soul.
Parehas lang naman kaming umaasa. Siya umaasang makabalik sa puso ni Thomas. Ako, umaasang mag karoon ng pwesto sa puso niya.
"You did a good acting on your indie film that got you a best actress award..." Panimula ko. "Parang binuhay mo mula sa script si Kris. It's like a tailor fit role for you. Can you relate yourself to her?"
"Kris and I have a lot of similarities so it became easy for me." Kapansin pansin ang pag kawala ng masayang aura sa loob ng room. "We're both searching acceptance and love from our parents but unfortunately they can't give it."
Tumango tango na lang ako nag take down ng notes to avoid her gaze.
"Kris found acceptance in Mark's character while I... I found it in Thomas' character." I looked at her and a small smile formed in her lips as if she remembered a beautiful memory. I bet she had a lot of good memories with him... Compared to my mine. " Sa kanya ako humuhugot pag kailangan ko ng matinding actingan sa scene. He's my happiness and sadness."
"I strived hard for Thomas so I could be worthy of him." Naalala ko na ayaw sa kanya ng Mama ni Thomas. Hindi ko maintindihan kung bakit ayaw niya sa kanya. She seemed so nice. "Now that I have all of these, I can love him freely."
She's a talented girl who's willing to give all for her craft. 'Yan ang pag kakakilala ko sa kanya but I never thought that she will do all of these for a man. And that man is my husband.
The interview ended fine. It ended my agony as well. But before I go back to our office, I went to her for once last time.
"Ms. San Agustin" I called her as soon as she answered my last question.
