The Reason {Completed} {UNDER CONSTRUCTION}

22~ Hello, My Love

"Faith!!" June threw herself into my arms, waving her diploma in the air.

"We did it! We graduated!" She cried. Something-or someone- else must have caught her attention because she muttered a goodbye and took off.

"Congratulations, Faith!" My dad said, pulling me into a bone crushing bear hug. I gasped for air as I squirmed out of his grip.

"Thanks, Dad." I said, grinning.

"My little girl is all grown up." He whispered, touching my cheek gently. I could feel my eyes starting to burn at his words so I quickly turned away and scanned the crowd for Logan and Lucas. I hadn't actually seen him come but he had promised he'd be here and I know my dad wouldn't have left Logan alone.

"Hello, my love." I jumped, tripping over my own shoe and falling on the grass beneath me. Lucas was standing in front of me, Logan perched on his shoulders, giggling.

"Lucas!" I said, half angry and half excited. He grinned as I hugged him, whispering congratulations in my ear

"Mama!" Logan pulled at my hair from where he sat on Lucas' shoulders.

"Why is he up there? Do you know how dangerous. . ." Lucas kissed me, making me forget the rest of what I was going to say. I smiled but was eventually tugged away from Lucas.

"Come on, Faith. Derek Barnes is throwing a party. You've got to come. I already talked to your dad, he said he'd watch Logan." I glanced back at Lucas. He handed Logan over to my dad before joining us. June grinned and rolled her eyes.

"I guess he can come too."

****

"I haven't been to a party. . . in three years." I whispered to Lucas as we watched June and Bradley grind against each other in the middle of the living room.

"Everyone understands, Faith. It's not a big deal if you want to leave." I pushed my curled blonde hair off of my face.

"You don't think she'd be mad?" He shook his head, taking my hand as he led me out of the house.

"She'll figure we left to do. . . other things." I laughed at his response and climbed into his car. Staring at the house from the outside, I would have thought a tornado hit it. Trash was thrown around all over the lawn and there was even some Junior I recognized passed out in front of the house.

"I can't believe I was that stupid at one point," Lucas whispered, seeing the Junior I was looking at. I turned to him, taking his hand in mine.

"We all make mistakes, we all learn from them. Now drive me home, Luke. I'm hungry." He grinned as he started the car.

"Yes, yer majesty."

**

When I walked back into my bedroom after dinner, I found Lucas standing in front of Logan's crib, holding a whimpering Logan to his chest.

"I think he had a nightmare. He kept tossing and turning." Lucas said without looking up at me. I pulled my hair up into a bun as I joined him by the crib.

"He usually doesn't let anyone hold him when he has a nightmare." I mumbled, touching his cheek. Lucas smiled down at Logan, his eyes shining.

"He's so. . . fragile. I'm scared I'm going to drop him or something." I laid my head on his shoulder as I laughed quietly.

"When I first held him I thought he was going to break in half. He was this small little bundle of. . . of cuteness. It was unbelievable that he had come out of me, that he was mine." Lucas laid him down in his crib, before turning to face me.

"I'm sorry, Faith. I'm sorry I wasn't there for you. I'm sorry that you had to raise him on your own. I'm sorry I let you think it was Eric Ford even when I. . ." I slammed my hand over his mouth.

"Stop apologizing. I love you Lucas. I didn't believe in love, not. . . not like this. I thought it was nothing but a lie. But after all the crap we've been through the last two months I think that love could probably justify it all. Someone once told me that we do stupid things for love. She was right." He pushed me back toward the bed, grinning.

"Say it again."

"What? I love you?" He tackled me on to the bed once we were close enough, his hands finding my cheeks as he kissed me.

He pulled away from me and looked over at Lucas who slept soundly in his crib a few feet away from the bed.

"I don't know if this would be considered a second chance or not. But thank you, Faith. Thank you for letting me come back into your life. Thanks for accepting me, for loving me when I wasn't worth loving. Thank you for raising my son, thanks for everything." He kissed me in between his words, smiling.

"My parents both died before they got a chance to meet you and Logan. They died before they could see me grow up and be happy. But I know, Faith. I know they would have loved you. They would have loved our son." I felt his hand brush against my arm before he rolled off of me and fell on to the bed.

"Your dad told me you wanted to go on a tour of Yale?" He asked, changing the mood. I smiled, laying my head against his chest.

"I was waiting for you to come home. I wanted you to come with us." He kissed my forehead, I listened to his racing heart.

"Well, I'm here. Let's go on Monday. See what this perfect school is really all about." I nodded. We laid there in silence for a few minutes before he finally pulled me into him again. It felt as if we were one person, like nothing could tear us apart. And as I fell asleep that night my dreams seemed to fade into each other.

I dreamt of a life with Lucas, with us as a family. After I finished school and we got our own house. A family with Logan and a little girl that would look up to her older brother, that would do everything with him. It was a life that I wouldn't have traded for anything.

But it was a dream. A dream that could very well become a reality. Maybe one day in the future I'll tell Lucas about the dream I had. Maybe at that time we really will be a big, somewhat normal family.

In the last couple months I found more than Lucas. I found myself. The person I had lost three years ago, the person I had wanted so desperately to get back but never could. Lucas had been part of that and he wouldn't ever understand how much he had changed my life, in more ways than one.

"Sometimes we do stupid things for love, things we'll regret. But what we count on, honey, is the people we love to forgive us for the mistakes we've made." My mom had said. And as I slept in bed next to Lucas I knew. I knew exactly what it was that she meant.

"Lucas," I would say the next day, "I forgive you." He wouldn't understand, nobody would except my mom. Becuase she knew it before I did.

I had found a reason to live, to believe in myself. A reason that everyone so desperately searches for so they can blame it for there mistakes. But the truth is that the reason is buried deep inside us and when the time is right it will find a way to make itself present in our life.

My reason wasn't Lucas or Logan, it wasn't my mom or dad, or even June or Bradley. No, the reason I had been searching for, had been blaming everything on, was me. The reason I hated everyone, everything, was because I hated myself. And now, now I know that I can set myself free.

**AN**

All that's left is the epilogue :( 

My babies. I always hate finishing a book! It feels like I lose part of myself with it. . .

Anyway, I hope you guys enjoyed!

Let me know what you thought!

~ChasingMadness24