The Reason {Completed} {UNDER CONSTRUCTION}

21~ For Worse Or For Better

Homecoming was probably the best day of my life. I didn't go to school and see some popular girl get crowned queen and watch everyone drink for the spiked punch bowl, no I spent my homecoming sitting in a rehab center talking to Lucas. It had only been about a month since he'd gone in, but it had felt like years.

"So why did you come here tonight, Faith? This is supposed to be your night." I smiled and ran my fingers over his knuckles.

"I've never been to a dance or a Prom, Lucas. I was always at home with Logan. I. . . it's not a big deal. I haven't been able to visit you since I've gotten Logan started on that learning program and with him and my mom both on meds. . . it's been a busy month." He smiled back, bringing my hand up so he could kiss it.

"Hey, it's okay, Faith. I get it. I. . . I just don't get why you are here with me when you could be dancing under the stars with some extremely lucky guy."

"Why would I want to dance with anyone but you, Lucas?" I asked, watching him caress the top of my hand.

"Because you are an extraordinary eighteen year old girl that any guy would die to be with, even if it was only for a night." I could feel heat rushing to my cheeks at the compliment.

"Did you hear. . . did you hear about my grandmother?" He finally asked, his expression darkening. I opened my mouth as I nodded. I squeezed his hand before talking.

"Yeah, Leila called me a couple weeks ago. I'm sorry, Lucas. She. . . she seemed like a great woman." He looked torn between trying to act like it wasn't effecting him and letting it finally sink in.

"She was. She raised Leila and me. She took us in without hesitation. Do you know what some of her last words were?" I shook my head. Leila hadn't really gotten into detail about it, it had been more of a quiet and short conversation.

"Leila told me she said "He's made me proud. That boy. He'll make a great father." She said that about me, Faith. I. . . I wasn't even there to hear it." I reached over and laid my hand on his cheek, smiling at him.

"Do you think I'll be a good father? I. . . I. . ." He shook his head, not being able to find the right words to say.

"Lucas, you'll be great. She knew what she was saying, she knew you'd be a great father." He shook his head, his green eyes shining in the bright lights of the room.

"Then why am I in here and not with you? With our son? I'm a disappointment, Faith. It's all I've ever been. When I was a kid my parents wanted me to do so much and I just failed at everything. I. . ." I ignored the strange look from one of the nurses I got and took Lucas' face into my hands.

"You will not fail at being a father. You won't. Stop letting your imagination run wild. Stop listening to everything in here," I touched his temple, "and start listening to what's in your heart, Lucas. Stay here for however long it takes for you to feel comfortable. Logan and I will still be waiting for you when you get out. I promise." He took my hand as I stood up and pulled me against him, his grip tight but not enough to hurt me.

"A month. I'll be out in a month, just in time for graduation. Even though I highly doubt I'm graduating. Then we'll be okay. Everything will be fine." I knew he was trying to reassure himself and I desperately wanted him to leave with me. I wanted him to come back to my house and sit in my bedroom with me while we talked about movies, about our life, for hours.

"I know. It'll be over before you know it." I mocked him, pulling away. He held my hand until I was a few feet away.

"Save a spot at your graduation ceremony for me, okay?" I dropped my hand to my side and gave him the biggest smile I could.

"Okay."

****

". . . and he made sure that I was inside before he drove off. It was the bets night of my life, Faith. Anyway, I'll shut up. How was your visit with Lucas? Was it worth missing Homecoming?" I nodded even though she wouldn't be able to see me do it.

"Yes. We just talked a lot about you guys and Logan and his family. It was sweet and quiet. I loved it." I heard her snort.

"No kissing? Nothing interesting? Come on, the poor guy is in there for two months, he won't have you to kiss or. . ."

"Not everything has to be about sex ad making out, June. Sometimes you can have a normal conversation, have a normal date without needing any of that." She was quiet for a few seconds.

"I can't believe we only have a month left of high school. Where did the time go? I remember. . ." She went on, changing the subject. I laid back on my bed and shut my eyes as I listened to my best friend reminisce, glad that I didn't have to say a word.

***

"I figured that it would be good, to go and tour the campus. What do you think?" My dad asked, stabbing into his steak. I looked from him to my mom who sat next to him, looking horrible. She was pale and her eyes looked as if they had sunken into her head.

"I wanted Lucas to come." I replied. My dad nodded, reaching for his knife.

"I know that, Faith. I was talking about after graduation. If you are moving out of this state and that far from me, I need to make sure the school is worth it."

"Of course it is, Dad. It's Yale." He set his utensils down and turned to me, a serious look taking the place of the happiness that had just been in his eyes.

"Where are you going to live, Faith? And work? What about Logan? Are you going to leave him at a daycare and. . ."

"Lucas is moving in with me, Dad. We talked about this already," I pointed at Logan who was in his high chair next to me, "He'll be fine. We'll figure out the daycare and babysitter situation when the time comes." My dad ran a hand through his hair, shaking his head.

"And are you going to marry Lucas? Are you going to change Logan's last name?" I could feel my teeth grinding together.

"What if I do? I thought you liked Lucas, I. . ."

"I don't like him, Faith. No father wants to see their daughter move away, especially with a guy. But you changing Logan's name. . . that . . . that's not fair." I stood up so quickly the chair nearly fell over.

"Why is it not fair, Dad? Lucas is his father! He deserves to be able to give his son his last name."

"He wasn't here for three years of that child's life, Faith! Who was the one that changed his diapers? Who was the one that would watch him when you weren't here? Was it his father? Was Lucas here then? Huh?" He slammed his fists against the table, startling Logan and my mom.

"Was his father here when he said his first word? Was his father here when he learned to walk? Was here when Logan got potty trained?" I opened my mouth to defend Lucas but my dad went on before I could.

"No, Faith. I was! Not him, me. Your father. You think that it's no big deal if you change Logan's last name, because yours will be changed too. But Faith you are my only child, you were the only one that could carry on my name. And Logan has that name, he'll be able to carry it on." I fell back into my chair, tears burning my eyes as I stared at my dad. I had never seen him look so hurt, so offended.

"Why should he have the right to change his name, Faith? Logan is your son. We raised him, me and you. He should have our name." I pushed out of my chair again and walked toward the hall.

"Faith? Where are you going? Don't be mad and. . ."

"Dad," I paused and looked at him over my shoulder, "You're right, Logan is my son. Which means I should be able to choose what his last name is." He stared at me desperately, shaking his head. I stalked down the hall and slammed the door shut behind me, shutting the door before the guilt could creep it's way into my chest and eat me alive.

***AN***

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~ChasingMadness24