The Reason {Completed} {UNDER CONSTRUCTION}

17~ The Reason

"I'm sorry that I hurt you

It's something I must live with everyday
And all the pain I put you through
I wish I could take it all away
And be the one who catches all your tears
That's why I need you to hear."

"I've found a reason for me
To change who I used to be
A reason to start over new
And the reason is you."

I shut my laptop, wiping the tears as quickly as I could. The text had been from Lucas, followed by text after text of apologizes.

"That song is. . . like. . . like. . ." June trailed off, wiping the tears that had started to slip down her cheeks as well.

"God, you know I hated Lucas, Faith. But I want this to end like some romance novel or movie. I want you to run into his arms and accept his apologizes. And you guys will raise Logan and have two more kids and they'll live. . ." She went on for a few minutes before she started laughing and shaking her head.

"Sorry, I'm getting ahead of myself. You are going to see him tonight, right?" I nodded slowly.

"Yeah. We're meeting at a cafe, somewhere public so we can't make a scene. I'm taking Logan." I replied, pushing my bangs out of my eyes as June nodded and glanced over at Logan on the floor playing with his train.

"Good idea. Good luck, Faith. I. . . you know that Bradley and I just want to see you happy, right?" I smiled as I poked her arm, trying to lighten the mood.

"I do. Now what's going on between you two anyway?" She grinned, then frowned.

"You aren't mad? That we're dating?" I thought about it for a second before shaking my head.

"Not at all."

***

"You'll be okay, Faith. It's just Lucas. The same Lucas you poured your heart out to at McDonalds a few weeks ago." I reassured myself as I pushed Logan into the Barnes and Nobel. I spotted Lucas instantly. He was sitting in the Starbucks, staring down at a cup of coffee.

"Hi." I greeted quietly as I approached him. He looked up and I winced. He looked horrible, hungover and exhausted.

"Here." He stood up and walked around the table, pulling the chair out for me. I thanked him and pulled Logan's stroller closer tom.

"Faith. . ." He started to say as he reached across the table for my hand. I let him take it, bowing my head.

"Look, Lucas. I don't want to sit here and talk about it. Let's talk about us now, about the future. Because as much as we can sit here and talk about the past and what happened in it, it won't change a single thing." He cracked a half smile that reminded me of Logan's before caressing my hand.

"I'm sorry. About the other night. I promise I don't usually do anything, not anymore. I'll go back to NA and AA if you want me too. I. . . I was just falling in to deep with you, Faith. I needed to get everything off my chest and I couldn't do it sober."I stared at our intertwined hands for a second before shaking my head.

"That's my problem. If this," I gestured from him to me then to Logan, "is going to be a thing, are you just going to run away? Are you just going to get drunk or high when things get too difficult? I can't have my. . . our son around that, Lucas." He pushed his coffee cup out of the way and held my hand in both of his.

"I can't promise you, Faith. I want too. I want to be the person you want me to be. I want to be a great father and boyfriend, a great friend and lover. But I've never done this. Loved someone like I love you. My parents. . . they always liked you. They thought you had a great future ahead of you. Leilia loves you too, she already thinks of you as a sister." I could tell he was trying to change the subject, but he sighed and went on before I could say anything.