It's Not That Easy

Chapter 32 - Missing You

"This is the dress I wore when I married Patrick," my mom says, and I see a hint of sadness in her eyes. "I also got married in the 80s, but mine is very different." She pulls out a white satin dress with an open-lace overlay neckline and a long train. It is long sleeved but not puffy. It's beautiful and understated like the bride that wore it.

"I also brought out my dress from when I married your dad." In another box was the tea length strapless dress with the white lace bolero jacket that she had worn. I remember she looked like a princess when Mason and Papa walked her down the isle. Again, it is understated elegance, like my mom.

"Why are you doing this?"

"Honey, we've all been there. We know this is a hard decision, and we just want you to see that it all works out." My mom pulls me closer to her as we watch Nana pull her dress out of a box.

"I got married in the late 50's," she says holding up a dress that looks like it could have had a poodle on it once upon a lifetime, but then I take a closer look. It's a white taffeta dress with a short, cap-sleeve jacket, tight waist and full skirt. When she held it to her body, you could see it only went to mid-calf. She said she wore three peticoats to help make the skirt look fuller.

"You know dear. I never did get married, but I have your grandmother's dress from when she married my brother. She looked so beautiful." Aunt Rita pulls out my grandmother's dress from the early 1960s. It is a full-length silk baroque gown with a dropped waist and a short chapel length train. If it weren't for the sleeveless sheer underlay on the bodice, it would be strapless. There's just a touch of lace on the bodice and the hem, and just a little around the neckline and from a distance the lace looks like a necklace.

My eyes sting and I can feel the tell-tell signs that I'm about to cry, looking at each of these ladies with their wedding dresses placed around the room. There are three generations bonding over the same experience...a wedding. My mother must have sensed it too, because she hands me a tissue.

"You know, you're built a lot like Celeste." Aunt Rita says, looking fondly from me to my grandmother's dress. "She was a shapely woman, also. Got the attention of lots of fellows. Why don't you try her dress on? It could give you a focus for what to shop for later."

I hold the dress up to me, admiring it in the mirror. "Celeste and your Great-Grandma Mary spent weeks hand stitching the beads onto the lace." I moved the dress a little, and the pearl and glass seed-beads catch the light giving off a faint hint of shimmer. "The way your eyes look at this dress...I can't wait to see it on you."

"I don't think it will fit..." it looks small through the hips, but I hope it fits. I love this dress.

"Try it on. It will at least give you an idea if you like the bodice, and maybe you can find one like it."

My mom helps me, while the rest of the ladies retreat to the living room, waiting for a peek. "Honestly Addy, I think this dress may be a little big for you," she says as she begins to hook the iridescent glass buttons. "But you should be able to get a good idea. It's really a beautiful dress."

My mother hands me a pair of heels just so I wouldn't trip on the hem as I walk to the living room. My eyes are on my Nana and Aunt Rita, they're smiling and approving, until I heard a gasp. My dad's eyes glisten with tears as he says, "Oh, Addy, you make a very beautiful bride." I watch him physically let out a breath trying to contain his emotions. I had not even seen him enter the room.

I've never felt so beautiful, in my life as I do in this dress. It feels like it's made for me. "Can I wear this dress?" I ask directing the question to Aunt Rita and my mom and dad each of whom nodded. Joel looks extremely happy, and I even get approval from Nana and Linda.