Losing Control

Chapter Eighteen

The ambulance, the paramedics, the flashing lights. The shouts, the children crying, the tears. I remembered a lot from the last two hours. Those images had come and gone in a chaotic mess. But the pain. The pain that felt worse than twelve years in prison. The pain that ran deeper than all the abuse I went through. The pain of seeing Harrison out cold because my own brother had knocked him down with his car, the pain was not something that could come and go. The pain was here to stay. The pain of seeing blood surround Harrison's beautiful body as he lay on the grey road would always be felt.

I checked the clock on the waiting room wall again. Two hours and six minutes since we had arrived. Two hours and one minute since the doctors who were all hustled around Harrison had shoved me away as they rushed him into the operating theatre. One hour and fifty nine minutes since I had realised I had taken his phone out of his pocket while he lay on the road so I could phone his Dad. One hour and thirty nine minutes since his Dad came rushing into the hospital to be taken to where his son was. And one hour and thirty five minutes since I got shown to this dreary waiting room.

I had been told nothing. Not one person had come to find me with an update about Harrison. I couldn't blame them really. I was no relation, and to Reggie White I was just a .....Just an ex jailbird who had been with his son at the time of the accident. Reggie didn't know what Harrison meant to me. Of course I was too afraid to go for a walk and find out myself. Because finding out meant bad news. A good outcome meant that Harrison had bad injuries and would be in pain. And a bad outcome meant that....no. I couldn't think that. This was not happening.

Of course my mind had wandered to Cooper. I knew that if Harrison died today, I would kill Cooper. It wouldn't matter how, it wouldn't matter where. It wouldn't matter that he was a father, it wouldn't matter that he was my brother. I would end his life. And after doing that, I would end my own. I never had very much to live for before now, but then Harrison had come into my life. If he was taken away, then I would already be dead.

I jumped as the door opened and Reggie walked through, his baseball cap in one hand as he rubbed his bald head in a weary manner. He sat opposite me, his eyes brimming with tears.

I gulped, not knowing what he was about to say. After being locked up for so long, I wasn't the best judge of people. I couldn't figure out what Reggie face said. He leaned forward in his chair, looking down at the scuffed floor.

"Harrison is in a bad way son."

I blinked in surprise. I was surprised that he was still alive. I was surprised that Reggie was speaking in such a soft tone to me. I was surprised, not for the first time, that the man had called me son. He carried on, sensing that I wasn't going to speak.

"The next twenty four hours will be crucial. When they rushed him into theatre, he had three broken ribs and internal bleeding. They managed to stem the bleeding. There doesn't look like there is any other damage inside."

Hope rose inside me. I had been through my fair share of broken ribs in the past twelve years, they hurt like hell but Harrison could survive them. I sat up in my chair a little straighter.

"If...if they have stopped the bleeding then that means that he will pull through. That means he will be OK."

Reggie shook his head. I watched as he stood up, walking over to sit beside me. I flinched away as went to touch my arm. I mistakenly thought he was going to hit me. It was a reflex action from being banged up.

"It's not quite that simple Noah. You see, the car hitting Kurt isn't what did the damage. I mean, it hurt for sure, but it was survivable. The reason why Harrison got away with minor injuries everywhere else is because.... Because his head took the force."