Losing Control

Chapter Sixteen

I'm not sure how long it took me to figure out I wasn't breathing properly. All I knew is that my lungs started to hurt because I couldn't get enough air in them. And when I tried to take a breath, it still hurt. I dug my nails into my palms as I felt tears sting the back of my eyes. Everything that had happened to me over the last twelve years came flooding back as I stared at my... my broth.... As I stared at Cooper. I couldn't bring myself to even think he was my brother. It hurt too much.

As I stood frozen to the spot taking him in, my hurt and upset turned to anger. Now the shock was passing, I could really see him. He looked young. He was my older brother by a good few years and yet he looked younger than me. The only difference in his face was a few miniscule wrinkles by his eyes. He was clean shaven and smart. His brown hair was slicked back and he was wearing a suit. A suit that looked like it had cost the earth. But the thing I really noticed, more than anything else, was that he was smiling. How did he have it in him to do that? How could he smile at a time like this?

I gulped, then took every bit of strength I had to walk over to him. The closer I got, all the murderous feelings came back. How was he here, looking so calm and stress free? Despite meeting Harrison, I still looked and more importantly....felt ......bitter. I radiated anger wherever I went. It was easy to see. But Cooper just looked care free and easy. I hated him.

I walked up the steps to my room. He was still standing outside my door, looking me up and down. When I reached him, I stared into his eyes, willing him to see all the anger and hate I had for him inside.

"Little brother. It's been a long time."

Hearing his voice made me clench my jaw. He smiled lazily and held his hand out to me as if we were business partners meeting for the first time. I stepped past him and opened my motel room door. If I intended to carry out my plan of killing him, I couldn't do it outside. Not that it mattered.... I didn't care who saw me. I wanted to get sent back down. I wanted Cooper out of my life.

Harrison.

His name swam round my head. I felt a tingle of calm through my veins as I thought his name. I had to keep my rage under control. I had to keep it together. I had to do it for him.

Cooper stepped into my room behind me. I slammed the door shut loudly, making him jump slightly.

He looked around, a sour expression on his face.

"Well, I'd like to say you are doing well for yourself but....."

I turned to face him, unable to believe what he had just said. I swallowed, and somehow....forced myself to talk.

"They don't hand out mansions to convicts who have just done twelve years in jail. I was lucky to get this. So pardon me if it's not to your taste."

Cooper looked amused at my words. He crossed his arms over his chest while he grinned at me mockingly.

"Do I detect bitterness little Noah Ray?"

His words stabbed me like a knife. Nobody had called me that since Mom had died. He didn't have the right to call me that. My eyes glanced over at the tiny kitchenette, knowing it was stacked with a set of kitchen knives. My hands shook as I kept them at my sides, thinking of Harrison again to calm me down.

"Don't call me that. Don't ever fucking call me that again What do you want Cooper?"

Cooper was still smirking as he looked about my room.

"I came to see if my darling little brother had made anything of himself. I'm sorely disappointed Noah Ray. Look at the state you are in."

I scoffed. I had to be dreaming this. This wasn't real. I couldn't figure out if he was being serious or not.