Come Inside

XVI

Elaine threw herself at him, planting her face on his hard chest. He stood still, unable to move in shock when Elaine hugged him. Tears automatically formed in her eyes as she felt his hand rested on her lower back and the other on her head. She can feel his heart beat faster than usual. She can hear his hard breathing.

"Take me, Jacob." She said. "Take me away."

"I'll take you if and only if you let me come inside your life again."

She guessed she's also selfish, selfish in a way that she didn't want to let him go though part of her was still hurt by the fact that Jacob had cheated and have a daughter with Raica, whom he cheated with. But she was so ready to forgive, ready to forget every damn thing and start over again. Many will think that she's a fool for taking Jacob back but who are they to judge the way she loves?

"I take you back. I want to run away. I want you to be my family. I want you to be my one and only."

Elaine stared only at Jacob's face to study his reactions. Immobilized, Jacob was stiff on to the ground, his jaw was shaking as Elaine saw glistening of his eyes.  With her being shackled by his arms, she felt his heat as he tighten his embrace. Elaine's heart flutter as she felt him rested his chin on the top of her head and God knows she felt him kiss her head.

"I'm tired of giving you up, Elaine. I'm sick of watching you break. I know it was my fault why you broke but I'm here to make everything right. Thank you for another chance, Elaine. Though I know I still don't deserve it. But I promise you, you will never regret coming with me. I will let you know me more, know what happened in the last 5 years. I will not hide anything, Elaine. All you wanted to know, I will tell you. I will give you all you want. I will surrender everything to you." Jacob's voice was so soothing, like he meant all of the things he said as if giving her assurance that he will do everything he had said. But it's too much. Jacob is all she needs. To stay is what she wants.

"I'm sorry, Elaine. Sorry for being an asshole last few months." He breathed harshly as he held her so tight, so close. The way he breathe matches the fast beat of his heart. "I am just jealous because everybody has finally known you're engaged with Kael. It could've been me. It should've been me. And the fact that you let him hold you the way I used to hold you, it made me mad. It made me angry because I realized I can not make you mine again unless I do something. I want to own you, Elaine. So bad, I wanted to do anything to make you mine. And... and I was so mad at you for letting me go easily. I was so devastated when you left me."

"I'm sorry, Jacob. I'm sorry for leaving you. I'm sorry for not accepting your flaws. You have your mistakes, and I had mine. I'm not expecting you to be perfect but, admit it or not, I am disappointed in you. But, you know, I don't care about that. We need to focus about our present and, hopefully, our future."

Jacob held her face, making her look at him, she memorized his features as she put her right hand on his cheek. A sob escaped from her lips as Jacob closed his eyes upon the touch.

Everything felt surreal.

"Sorry kung gusto kong lumapit ka kay Kael kanina," ani Jacob at saka nito pinagdikit ang kanilang mga noo.

"I was just there to clear everything, para itanong kung bakit siya nag-back out sa engagement."

"He backed out?"

Tinitigan ni Elaine ang mga mata ni Jacob na punong-puno ng pagkagulat. She smiled a bid, nodding her head as a response, then she planted her face against his chest making her hear his heart beat again. Jacob's heartbeat was the only music thay can soothe her. She felt calm as soon as she heart the lub dub sound in his chest.

"Ugh, shit!"

Napabitaw si Elaine kay Jacob nang may magsalita sa bandang likuran niya. She eyed the guest but he seemed to be  hiding behind the post. Ngunit hindi naman na kailangang makita ni Elaine kung sino ang nagsalita dahil kilalang-kilala na niya ito, sa boses pa lang.

"Kael," aniya. "Anong ginagawa mo riyan?"

"I was... following you." Lumabas ito mula sa pinagtataguan nito at humarap kina Elaine. Bahagya itong ngumiti pero bakas pa rin ang iritasyon sa mukha nito lalo na nang matingnan nito nang malapitan ang kasama niya. Elaine watched Kael as he inhaled hard, exhaling it using his mouth. "Akala ko kasi biro lang 'yong kasama mo si Royce. Totoo pala."

Habang nakapamulsa ito, nakatingin lamang si Elaine sa mukha nito. Hindi nga niya napansin na lumapit si Jacob sa kanya, naramdaman na lamang niya na pinagsaklop nito ang kanilang mga daliri.

"I took Jacob back, Kael."

"Kahit na may anak siya kay Raicca?"

Natigilan si Elaine ngunit makalipas ang iilang segundo, nagsalita siya, "Alam mo?"

Tumango si Kael at nag-iwas ng tingin.

"Kanino mo nalaman?"

"Kay Camille," sagot nito.

Elaine felt like she was oblivious all along. All those time, they've kept it hidden. They could've told her sooner. But who was she back then? She was just Jacob's ex-girlfriend.

Her hand against Jacob's palm warmed as Jacob tightened his grip.

"Alam ko na, dati pa," anito at bahagyang ngumiting hindi umaabot sa kanyang mata. "Hindi ko alam kung paano kong sasabihin 'yon sa 'yo noon dahil nakita ng dalawang mata ko kung ano ang nangyari sa 'yo noong iniwan mo si Royce. Nasaksihan ko kung ano ang kinalabasan ng desisyon mong iyon, Elaine. And I'm sorry for not wanting to be sorry, because I know leaving Jacob is the best choice for you that day."

"Let's go, Elaine." Jacob tugged her into him, wrapping his arm around her. "You don't have to listen to him. You and I have each other, right? Victoria will be happy to see you. So, let's go?"

"And you know what, Elaine? That night in Ilocos, 'yong fieldtrip ng social science at political science, when Jacob suddenly went missing. 'Yong halos mabaliw ka na kakaisip kung ano ba ang nangyari sa kanya, 'yong napa-paranoid ka na kakatawag sa cellphone niyang hindi mo ma-contact, I know what happened there. Iniwan ka niya para kay Raicca. Sumama siya sa kanya para sa —"

Kumawala si Elaine kay Jacob at saka hinarap si Kael, pinutol ang sinasabi nito. Her eyes were wet from tears. Sa kada banggit ng pangalan ni Raicca ay tila saksak iyon sa kanyang puso. She couldn't do anything about it because, accept it or not, Raicca is part of Jacob's life. And it made what Jacob is now. At least, they've grown stronger in the experiences they'd come through.

"Tama na, Kael! Wala na akong pakialam sa kung ano ang nangyari noon! Yes, I know! They'd fucked a lot more than I know. Hindi naman sila magkakaanak kung hindi sila nag-iyutan, 'di ba? Believe it or not, I accept the child. And I accept Jacob for who he was, who he is and who will he ever be. Mahal ko siya, Kael. At kahit anong sabihin niyong lahat, my feelings won't ever change."

"Fine, suit yourself. Don't go to me begging, Elaine. You already chose this. Kapag mahirap na ang lahat, wala ka nang masasandalan kundi ang sarili mo."