Dillary Trinton: a love story

Talking to Donald

Boom!  Yes! The dart hit her right in the eye, right where I was aiming! The picture of Donald Trump's wife was almost unrecognizable. I had been at it all day but what can I say I just hate the woman. She doesn't deserve MY Donald! She probably doesn't even love him like I do! she probably wants him for his money. Unlike her I love Donald, from his jack-o-lantern head to his crusty scaly feet, I love that man! But he doesn't even know.

I decided that enough is enough! I need to talk to him! And I know exactly how! I ran to my purse and pulled out my wallet. Inside was a crisp 100 dollar bill. I sighed deviously. 'Oh Donald! You shall be mine!' I thought while shoving the bill into my shoe to keep it safe. I felt it rest against my bunion.

"Bill I'm going out somewhere!" I said and walked in the living room where I presumed he was. He and Flavio were on the couch having an intense tickle fight so he didn't hear me. Hmmm that's a little strange... I thought I closed those curtains earlier... Eh oh well. I grabbed my diary and headed out the door.

I paused when I got outside and looked at the research I had put in my diary. Judging by the predicted schedule I made for all of Donald's activities he is at home right now. I hope his donkey, oh whoopsie doo I mean wife, isn't home.

I rushed to Donald's house using my hand drawn map to find the way. As I stepped onto the threshold I heard rustling inside. Perfect! My plan is working already. The door burst open and Donald John Trump himself stood there, the man of my dreams stood in front of me! He sniffed the air deeply and started drooling.

"Money! I like money! I have all the money! And all the words, all the best words!" My heart skipped a beat as he said this, he is just as amazing in person. I sighed deeply, He has such a way with words!

"I brought this for you Donald" I pulled it out of my shoe "sorry it's a bit sweaty it was in my shoe." Despite it's moistness Donald hastily ripped it out of my hand. He went to slam the door but I stopped it with my foot, my bunion crunching between the door and frame. This caused Donald's face to shoot up and he looked at me.

"I love walls Donald, may I come in?" He nodded, his eyes resting back on the money. Donald tried to walk up the stairs but sadly he refused to take his eyes off the money and he tripped over the first step. H shrieked and slammed his face on the stairs yet his stare on the money was not broken. Gosh, he's so determined! Donald got up and with his eyes still on the money he struggled to climb the stairs, falling every few seconds. I followed behind him taking in the beautiful scenery of his mansion.

We reached the top of the stairs and Donald ran into a door and fell to a ground with a thud. He backed up and went to do it again but before he could I opened the door. This caused him to run inside. I stepped inside and looked into the room myself. Inside was a giant safe. The rest of the room was bare and empty. Donald opened the safe with his eyes still on the money and he placed it inside with thousands of other bills.

"Money!" Donald said with satisfaction, and he closed the safe. Donald sat in front of the safe, petting it and talking to it for what felt like 10 minutes. Suddenly his eyes shot towards me which caused his hair to be swiftly pushed back back.

"OUCH!" I heard someone screech. What was that!? It wasn't Donald and it wasn't me. I looked around looking for a possible source to the voice but found nobody else was around.

"Hey, you lookin for who said that? It was me toots!" I nearly screamed when Donald's hair stood straight up and began to speak to me. Throughout this Donald smiled a constipated smile and his hair flailed around as if it were being blown in different directions by large gusts of wind.

"Donald! Did your hair just speak to me! How is that possible!" I began to hyperventilate and sat down on the old floor, too shocked to say anything more.

"My hair has words but not the best words, It's me who has the best words. I like walls." Donald said. He looked like a proud kid as he said this. His greasy hair rested back on his head as if nothing happened.

"How long has that been going on Donald?" I asked shocked. Donald explained to me that his hair began to speak after he went to a beauty parlor to get his hair done. When he left the salon his hair started talking to him. Dismayed, he explained that it's a democrat.

"Hey I didn't choose to be on his greasy fat head!" His hair shot back into life. "Oh and lookin good Hillary, I would wink at you if I had eyes." Donald's hair then rested back onto his head.

"So Donald, I came to talk to you. I know you might not like me because we are going for the same position but I wanted to see you." Donald smiled and grabbed my hand.

"Come see my room, I decorated it myself!" With that he pulled me into the hallway in front of a door marked 'Don Dons room stay out! No girls allowed!'