Trace of Innocence | Sweet and Sour (Book 4)

Chapter 58

Jess takes a selfie of us, and then smiles down at the picture on her screen.

"You are so undeniably cute," she says happily, causing my smile to vanish immediately.

"No I'm not," I argue. "That's not manly."

"You're still cute," she shrugs, and I pull a disappointed face at her, poking my lip out.

"Will I ever be manly?"

"I think you're manly as well," she adds quickly, and I throw her a disbelieving look. "I do!" she protests. "When you pin me down and kiss me - that's manly. And you have a lovely deep voice. It's very sexy."

I immediately feel embarrassed at my attributes being drawn attention to like this, and avert my eyes, my cheeks feeling warmer than usual.

"OK, now you're making me blush," I mutter.

"You're so cute when you go all shy!" she exclaims happily and I give an exaggerated sigh.

"Aaand we're back to cute again."

She smiles as she rests her head on my shoulder, her hair tickling my chin. "I can't help it. You're just such a... such a..." 

She's searching for the right word, and the only word that springs to my mind is something I have seen far too many times on Twitter and know she will appreciate.

"If you say cupcake we will have to see other people."

She lets out a squeak of laughter and lifts her head, beaming at me in delight. "Oh God - how do you know about that?!"

"I know most of these weird names the fans give me," I frown, as something else springs to mind that I have never understood but again, see fairly regularly on Twitter. "And while we're on the subject, what is the deal with the frog son thing?"

She positively screams with laughter this time and takes far too long to compose herself, during which time Louis peers over the back of our seats to see what all the commotion is about.

"What's so funny? It can't be his knock knock jokes."

I know just the thing to get rid of him.

"Hey Lou - who's smol?"

"Fucķ off," Louis snaps, and sits back in his own seat without another word. 

I turn to Jess in glee. "He hates that. Especially as I'm tol."

But Jess is staring at me as though I have grown another head. "You know that's a - a Larry reference, don't you?"

I can't help rolling me eyes. "What isn't?"

She hesitates a moment, apparently mulling something over in her mind before asking, "Does the whole Larry thing bother you?"

Ah. It's only taken us eight months to get to this conversation. 

I shrug, as casually as I can. "Yes and no. I'm not bothered about what people say about me to an extent, but for them to insist we're in a relationship when we've repeatedly told them we're not... it starts to get on your nerves after a while."

She is staring at me intently, so I continue. "It pisses Louis off more than me. But it has caused a strain on my past relationships because the fans send hate to anyone they see as a 'beard.' I've learnt that people will believe what they want to believe, so what's the point in denying it anymore? But it is draining having every word, every look, every action scrutinised by those looking for 'proof'". 

I draw quotation marks in the air with my fingers, and she nods slowly and thoughtfully. "I can imagine."

The Larry thing is weird, because it's so out of control now that no matter what we say or do, no matter whom we are seen with publicly or caught with behind closed doors, there are some who just point blank refuse to believe anything other than that Louis and I are in a closeted relationship. Louis sees more of that stuff than I do, as I don't spend much time on social media, so he bears the brunt of it and lets it get to him. I know he hates sitting or standing next to me in interviews because of the way any look or action is interpreted, and it would be a lie to say our relationship hasn't been affected by it over the years.