Chapter 48

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(No Control | Holding Me Ransom - 48 - A Whole Lot Of History)

The next ten days are hectic with shows, interviews and promo, not to mention a couple of conversations with Jeff and Irving Azoff about my future management once I am out of contract with Modest. Jeff is keen to represent me himself, but I know that Irving will have a hand in it all anyway. I harbour a secret desire to branch out from just music, but I don't know whether to go down the route of presenting, or film, or TV. And to be honest, I don't know if all or even any of those would be an option for me. I know my name alone may get me in the door, but I don't want to use this to my advantage. Whichever avenue I decide to pursue, I want to do it off my own merit rather than my reputation.

I am thankful that the remaining few shows run successfully without a hitch, and that my foot seems to be healing nicely and the pain is lessening. It seems as though the final stretch of the tour is going to run smoothly, and I can't help thinking this could be a positive sign that things with Jess will go well on the thirty-first. As much as I don't want to manipulate her, I can't help feeling happy that she is coming to our last show, and will hear Perfect live. Her love of One Direction can only work in my favour.

My dad is coming to the show too, and this means the two of them will meet for the first time. This is a big deal for me, and I know it is a big step for Jess, and again I can't help feeling this is all a good sign. She wouldn't bother meeting more of my family if she didn't see a future for us. Would she?

She arrives at Mum's in time for a late breakfast, on the morning of our last show, and I notice she seems more nervous and jittery than usual.

"Are you excited for the show tonight, Jess?" Mum asks once we have all started tucking in to a hearty fry up.

"She's nervous about being seen," I offer.

"I'll be fine," Jess says, a little hesitantly, and then adds, "I'm looking forward to it."

I can't help grinning delightedly at her.

"There will be so many people there," Mum says. "I spoke to Johanna last night. All the boys' families will be there."

Out of the corner of my eye I see a flicker of excitement pass over Jess' face - so subtle that no one else at the table will have noticed, because they don't know her like I do - and it is quickly hidden.

"Johannah Deakin?!" she asks, over-casually. I know inside she is squealing.

I smirk.

"Will - will Lottie be there?" she asks in the same tone, and I try to conceal my broadening smirk. She has never met Lottie before, but no doubt sees her as some sort of celebrity in her own right. How hilarious.

Jess gives me daggers across the table and next to me Gemma jumps and squeals in pain from the poorly-aimed kick that Jess has obviously meant for me.

"Oh my God, sorry!" Jess wails, and I lean back in my chair to laugh as Mum and Robin look on in amusement and confusion.

"What's going on?" Mum asks, smiling.

"Jess is getting giddy over meeting Louis' family tonight, and she knows I'm onto it," I explain, unable to contain my glee. "So she kicked me but accidentally got Gemma instead."

"Oh Harry, stop embarrassing the poor girl," Mum scolds as Jess apologises and flaps unnecessarily. 

It's cute how much she is stressing.

After we've finished eating and have helped Mum clear the dishes away I lead Jess into the lounge and sit as casually as I can on the sofa. Now that the time has come to talk everything through, I feel excited and nervous. The future of our relationship is resting on the outcome of this conversation. I feel like the last few months have been leading up to this very moment and now it is here I feel trembly and nervous, but determined to make it right; determined to answer every question she may have and come up with a solution to any problem that might stand in the way of a reconciliation.

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