Chapter 52

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(No Control | Holding Me Ransom - 52 - Now You Know Me)

We stay in bed another couple of hours, and it's past ten o'clock when I reluctantly force myself into a sitting position and Jess stirs next to me. I want to spend some time with my family today before I have to get back to London and my busy schedule, and I share these thoughts with Jess. Her excitement at One Direction appearing on The Jonathan Ross Show makes me smile stupidly, but it's got me thinking about my diary over the next few weeks, and when we'll be able to see each other. We've only just got back together - I don't want us to be spending weeks apart again.

"So... I was wondering if maybe you wanted to come over to New York and LA with me, later in the month?" I suggest casually. "We have a few things lined up, but it's not as hectic as the UK schedule. I thought maybe we could spend some time together?" And then another idea occurs to me, and I don't know why I've never thought of it before! "Maybe we could even go on holiday or something, once the last of my commitments are over?" (I'm trying not to sound too eager). "I mean, it's just an idea, we don't have to..."

She doesn't say anything for what seems like forever. My heart begins to thud painfully, and I'm suddenly worried I've rushed her into something before she's ready, like put her on the spot or something.

"Harry," she says in that squeaky, over-excited voice of hers that she often uses when the other members of the band are mentioned, "I would absolutely LOVE that!"

Thank fuck for that.

"Really?" I smile, leaning back and relaxing a little with relief. "I just thought it would be good to have some time to relax together. I haven't really thought it through, I was just thinking out loud."

"It would be amazing," she grins.

"So, yes to both? Fly out with us, and come on holiday with me?" I confirm.

"Yes to both," she nods. "Wait - who's 'us'?"

"The band," I explain. I thought this was obvious. "We'll be flying out on the jet together. Will that be a problem?"

"Will that be a problem?!" she repeats, leaning up on her elbows and staring at me with a look of unbridled giddiness. "Are you kidding me? I get to hang out with One Direction on a private jet for, like, eight hours?!"

"I thought your fangirl days were behind you," I tease, secretly loving the fact that she's excited about this.

"I'm allowed a relapse periodically," she says matter-of-factly, and I try to contain my smirk as we discuss the logistics.

"I can't wait to take you out on a proper date again," I muse. "If you want to, that is."

"Of course."

"OK good. I don't want you to feel pressured into being seen out in public with me if you're not ready for all that yet. We take this at your pace."

The last thing I want to do is to rush her into anything. I don't want any unnecessary strain on this relationship this time.

"We take it at our pace," she argues. "We agree on this sort of stuff together, OK?"

"OK," I concede, tucking a strand of her hair behind her ear as she frowns at me. "How do you feel about all of that, though? Being seen in public, I mean. The paps will be onto us straight away. They know you through being linked to me in the past. It will be all over the internet in seconds."

"I don't know," she says, looking me straight in the eye. "I think it will always irk me that we can't do anything without it becoming public knowledge. But I refuse to hide away and become a recluse just because of a few photographers."

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