[ cobwebs + flies ]

Chapter 5

-Dan-

Heart beating faster and faster by the minute, I run home with tears stinging my eyes. He hates you, Dan. He hates you. It was an idiotic move on my part. It was too spontaneous and rushed. It's obvious that the message addressed to the boy was written by me and I can tell that he knows just by looking at him.

I hear a vibration from my pocket. After opening the front door and rushing to my room, I take out my phone and check the notification.

1 New Kik Message!

philisamazing: hey this is phil... the dude you wrote the note to at school.

My fingers practically shake as I type a reply.

iamnotonfire: oh my god... hey. i totally wasn't expecting you to even want to talk to me 🙂

philisamazing: so uhm... who are you?

iamnotonfire: you do realize that i cant tell you that, right?

philisamazing: i know you dont want to tell me your name. i can respect that. i just.. i want to know more about you. like your gender, favorite color, instruments you play, you get it.

iamnotonfire: well.. im a guy, my favorite color is blue, i play the piano

philisamazing: you're not a pedophile right? just making sure

iamnotonfire: no no no im in the same grade as you, if that makes you feel any better

philisamazing: alright just making sure.

iamnotonfire: im sorry it has to be like this

philisamazing: what?

iamnotonfire: im sorry that i seem like im obsessed with you and want you to marry me. im not like that.

philisamazing: then why cant you tell me who you are? you know that i wont hunt you down.

iamnotonfire: im afraid

philisamazing: what? why? im the least intimidating human to exist. i have no physical ability in my body to hurt someone

iamnotonfire: even so. im scared that you'll hate me.

philisamazing: i wont. i dont care if you're the biggest douchebag in the school

iamnotonfire: i doubt it. im a pretty big douche and i bet you hate me so.

philisamazing: listen. even if you were daniel howell, the biggest drama queen in our school, i wouldn't hate you. like i said, i literally can't hate people. its not my nature.

My breath hitches at reading my name, but I reply as if not affected.

iamnotonfire: haha, okay okay i believe you. maybe ill give in one day and tell you who i am. not today tho 😁

philisamazing: fine. well, i have to go. have a nice night and i guess ill see you at school tomorrow.....?

iamnotonfire: yeah, ill be there. see you then, i suppose

But even after that conversation, I still believe that Phil Lester hates me. Even though he says that he doesn't.

----
some days,
i feel everything at once.
other days,
i feel nothing at all.
i dont know whats worse:
drowning beneath the waves
or dying from the thirst.

-o.m