The Boss [LGBT]

Chapter 21

"What's bothering you?"

"Hm? Nothing."

"You know, nothing is suppose to mean nothing, but when people say nothing is bothering them - it means everything. Ironic. What's wrong?" I asked again.

"I'm just tired," he said.

"Biggest lie everyone tells. Tell me. You know you can."

"I know I can," Lafayette sighed. "It's just one of those days I guess. I was born having things wrong with me."

"So was Abe Lincoln. He was just born sad, like you. And people say he's gay, but I don't know about that. Kind of like you. Also, he was a lawyer and the president and helped lots and lots of people. Maybe he figured if he did all that then he'd feel better about himself, too."

He smiled tiredly at me. He looked tired, but his worries were tiring him. "Sometimes I feel like I don't love you enough," he said quietly, almost to himself.

"Well, I feel loved enough. I'm overwhelmed with your love."

He kept that small smile on his lips, looking at me. He sighed and leaned back. "You know I'm really not a good person."

"Of course you are. You've helped more people than anyone who has ever walked on this planet."

"Only because I wanted to benefit myself. I wasn't acting altruistically."

"It's called psychological egoism. Every human being does everything for their own self-interest, it's just that they might be interested in helping people to gain pleasure. Elementary ethics my dear."

He gave me a look, waiting for an explanation.

"I took an ethics class in college. I failed. It was much harder than what I thought it was going to be, but I do remember psychological egoism."

He smiled at me, looking more relaxed, making me relax, too.

Things were going as perfect as possible. Lafayette had done it all. His schools were a success. His international companies were booming, making more money for him and helping the other countries. Him and his family got along more. He paid for their vacations generously, as an early Christmas present. His underground, shady business was out of sight. Then Marcus was doing great, having gone on a few dates with Daniel. Lafayette and I were constantly together and I can't even begin to describe all the sex we had. He always wanted to have sex. I don't know how he could do it so often. Sometimes I had to cut him off because I couldn't do it again.

Thanksgiving time rolled around and Lafayette was going to join my family and I again. We woke up on Thanksgiving at around nine or ten. We showered, ate a small breakfast, and put on the new line of winter clothing he had. Him in a sweater and jeans, me in tight maroon pants and a V-neck sweater. He had prepared delicious, cream cheese brownies last night that I so badly wanted to stuff my face with. My boyfriend was an amazing cook. Saying that was such a turn on.

We drove to my parents' house and greeted everyone there. It was nice to think about how last year, when Lafayette joined us for Thanksgiving, everyone was saying how we should get together. I just rolled my eyes back then, but now look at us. We're together. It was just so lovely to have him there and join the family. It made me think about the future, and sometimes I was afraid to think about it because I felt that maybe I was thinking too far ahead. I was quite the daydreamer after all. Though I knew he didn't care if I thought about it because he thought about it, too. He'd think about our family and the house and everything. Sometimes I felt he wanted to just rush into it all now, but we both knew taking our time was best.

"Are you okay?" I asked him, sitting on the couch. He just didn't have that glow about him.

"I'm quite alright."