° + * Soramafu Oneshots * + ° (PART 1) [COMPLETED]

40. You Are Not Here Anymore

         He sat down with a small knife, staring at the albino. "Mafu." The albino did not look up, but he just whimpered a little. "Mafu, look at me." "I love you." The albino flinched, his red eyes watering. "P-please, s-stop-" He tilted his head, and asked, "Stop what?" "This isn't you!" He smirked. "The Soraru you know is long gone, Mafu."
         He positioned the knife at his wrist, still smiling. "Look at me." Mafu forced himself to life his head, to stare at the male that used to be so gentle, so kind- thisisn'thimstopthinkingthatheis-
          Soraru cut into his wrist, and Mafu began to scream.

*°         ~          *°

          "Mafu, are you awake?" "Mhm?" He opened his eyes to see Soraru, grinning down at him. "Let's go out!" Mafu groaned playfully, his head smashed into the pillow. "Why are you so active today, Soraru-san?" His lover grinned, kissing him on the lips.
"No particular reason, my angel."

*°           -          *°

        "Stop! Stop!" Mafu cried out, already sobbing. The raven-haired male tilted his head, smiling slightly. "But we haven't even gotten far enough." He smirked. "But you endure more today, I'll give you that. As a treat, you can get your lover back for a while." He slumped forward, and Mafu caught him.
            "Mafu?" "Soraru-san, Soraru-san," the albino sobbed out. A hand reached around to cup the back of Mafu's neck. "What's wrong? Don't cry, my angel," he kissed away Mafu's tears with a soft smile. It broke the albino's heart that he will most probably never see his lover  smile like that ever again. But suddenly he pulled away, almost aggressively, and Mafu knew he lost him. Again.
        The one that was now Soraru laughed. "Angel? You? Do you know he wants to get married with you? To adopt children and cats and live happily ever after?!" He spat the last words out like it's poison, like he couldn't believe what the other him just said.
          Mafu didn't say anything, but looked down, letting the tears stream down his face. Soraru made a disgusted sound, and stood up. "You're no fun." He turned away and walked off shutting the door behind him.
        

I want to give up.

I love him?

I love the other Soraru.

But..he is gone.

Is he?

        He sat in front of the mirror, staring blankly at his reflection. "Soraru-san....I missed you." "You missed him? Why don't you miss me?" Mafu shook his head angrily.

"I'll still love you."

*   ·   *

         The next day, Mafu went through the process again. He sat in front of Soraru, who, again, has a knife in his hands. "Now, let's restart, okay?" His voice is gentle, and it almost remind Mafu of Soraru. Almost. Almost is not enough. He forced himself to look up, to look at the face of the monster that now inhabit his lover's body.
          Soraru smiled. Monster. He placed the knife at Mafu's hands. The albino stared at it, confused. "Cut me, Mafu." He froze, horror creeping in. Thisisn'trightnonononono- He shook his head, tears already forming at the edge of his eyes. Soraru's smile turned into a snarl. He braced his hands at either side of Mafu. "Cut me!"
          With trembling hands, Mafu thrusted the knife forward, straight at Soraru's heart. Tears dripped from his face, as he stared at the face of his lover, now bleeding. And for some miraculous reason, he smiled.
          "I'm sorry, Soraru-san!" Mafu hiccuped, tears staining his face, as he clutched the dying male's hand in his own. "I-It's okay, Mafu-" Soraru coughed. "It's n-not your fau-fault." "I don't mean...to do this..," Mafu said, trying his best to wipe the blood away. Soraru's face changed then, contorted into a smirk.

"Then I guess it's too late, then."

A/N : So guys, hi! I might stop writing this for a while, since there is three fanfics I have to continue plus a new one I'm working on. This is angst? Idk. Anyway, I might not update any of my books for a while since I have some... issues with my house wifi. Like its completely down. I'm sharing my friend's data right now, so I can publish this, but I can't do that when I'm at home so I'll have to wait for my wifi to be fixed before updating anything.

As for a new soramafu fanfic I'm working on, it might be published on my birthday so please look forward to it!

----nomuraaru