CAPTURE THIS (Updating regularly)

Chapter 15

"Remember, be calm and speak slowly. When you're nervous you tend to start jabbering away," Mr Riley reminded her. "Don't worry, everyone does it. Be honest and polite and you can't go wrong." 

"Thanks Dad," Amber said, taking his large calloused hand and giving it a grateful squeeze with her free hand. She was clutching her canvas with her other hand on some canvas clips that she had borrowed from Alex. They had handles attached to them, making it easier for her to carry the canvas. 

She glanced up at her father for a moment, knowing what was coming. It was an art thing, of course one of them had to mention her mother. 

"She'll be there with you, kid. She's cheering you on. I know it." 

Amber felt the tears prickle her eyes but she took a deep breath and blinked them away. "I know, she is, Dad."

She cleared her throat and opened the front door. 

"Good luck."

"Thanks, Dad." 

With a final smile, Amber left the house and walked down the street to the where she promised she would meet Alex. 

He got out of his car when he saw her approaching down the street. He opened the trunk for her and had already put down the back seats so that the canvas would fit. He took it from her and placed it in the back with the utmost care. Amber noticed that he did it with such ease, that it probably the first time he had done this. 

They got into the car and headed towards Apesbrooke without a word. Amber was radiating anxiety as she toyed with her hands in her lap. Alex took one hand off of the driver's wheel to take her hands in an attempt to steady them. 

"Relax. They're going to love you," he assured her. 

Amber tried to smile but it appeared on her face as grimace. "You're just saying that. Maybe I picked the wrong painting. Oh god, maybe I should have picked something else to pitch them. Maybe I should have brought some back up paintings."

Amber twisted in her seat to glance at the painting that was laying over the back seats. 

Alex placed his free hand on her shoulder. "I'm not saying this to calm you or flatter you. I promise." 

Amber shot Alex a curious look, momentarily forgetting her nerves. "Saying what?"

"The board almost never agrees to meet with artists that they're completely unfamiliar with. Luckily I still knew some board members from when they featured my photographs at the gallery." 

"That makes me feel so much better," Amber remarked, her tone dripping with sarcasm. "I got this meeting because of favoritism." 

Amber glanced at Alex who huffed impatiently. She realized she was testing his patience and regretted her snide comment instantly.

"Let me finish," he told her, giving her shoulder a little squeeze. "Yes, I knew some people on the board but they have never agreed to meet with anyone based on a photograph taken on crappy iPhone camera."

Amber didn't say anything, letting the words wash over her and work their magic on her nerves. 

"What I'm saying," Alex continued, "is that they were so intrigued by your painting that they wanted to see it in person. So you shouldn't be worried. The meeting is just a formality." 

Amber did felt a lot better and now really regretting being so short with him. He moved his hand from her shoulder back to her hands in her lap. She brought it to her lips and kissed the back of his hand tenderly. 

"I don't deserve this. I don't deserve you." 

Alex gazed at her as long as he could before he had to focus on the road again. "You deserve more than this and you certainly deserve more than me." 

He looked thoughtful as he stared down the road, sad almost. Amber's heart felt heavy as she noticed how his brows furrowed. He was upset about something. This was one of the rare occasions when she could read his expression. 

"What is it?" She asked gently, tracing circles on his large open palm with her finger tip. 

Alex shook his head and sighed. "It's nothing." 

Amber wouldn't pushed the matter at any other time but her curiosity got the better of her. When would she be able to see into his mind again?

"Alex, tell me what's wrong." Her voice was mostly filled with concern but she wasn't asking him to tell her what was wrong - she was telling him to. 

Alex sighed again, his faced twisted in discomfort. "I... I can't help but wonder sometimes if you'd prefer to be with someone younger. When I was your age, I messed around with girls and I wasn't in any serious relationships. I wasn't mature enough to be in a serious relationship, if I'm honest. But that's not my point. I don't want to take away this time in your life when you can just be carefree and have casual relationships." 

Amber felt her stomach lurch uncomfortable at the mention of other girls but she pushed that aside to understand what he was saying. She knew what he meant. Other girls her age, like Zora, would get a boyfriend for a while and enjoy the relationship for as long as it lasted. They weren't fully committed. It wasn't like that with Alex. It felt like she was preparing to jump across a large ravine. Either she could take a running start and give it her everything to try and get across, or she could half-heartedly try to leap across and almost certainly fall to her death. Other girls her age were jumping over puddles, not ravines. They could afford to be half-hearted. They would be unscathed. Amber would be broken to pieces.  

She was very conscious that Alex might mistake her thoughtful silence as her doubting their relationship. His hand tensed in her lap. 

"I don't want casual relationships, Alex. They're exhausting and pointless. What we have is the exact opposite. It's difficult, don't get me wrong but waiting to see you after a long week or watching you walk past me in class and not being able to talk to you is a small compromise for our relationship. I'm happy and even though it's unpredictable and sometimes a little scary, it's so worth it because I get you." Amber was pleased to see his hand relax in hers. "So, what I'm saying is that I'm choosing you over anything else." 

She meant every word. Yes, she would be heartbroken if anything were to happen between them but so what? How could she walk away from this relationship? She loved Alex and... 

She loved Alex. Did she really just think that?

Amber peeked a glance at Alex, who had a small smile on his face as he drove. He hadn't said anything in response to her as her reply seemed to leave him pretty content. Did he know how much he meant to her? Did he know that he had the power to crush her little heart into a million tiny pieces?

She hoped for her sake that he did. 

***

When I started writing this chapter, I had no idea that Amber would be ready to admit that she was in love with Alex. Sometimes the character surprise the writers themselves! Writing is honestly magical. I'm really enjoying writing this story. I really hope you enjoy reading it! 

-Fariha x