Forever & Always

Chapter 31

One week till my audition and our trip up to New York, and I was feeling much better. I had gone back to the doctor's office three times since the accident and he told me I was healing at a good pace. I would be fine by the time I had to leave, though I was experiencing slight pain still, but stiffness more than anything else. 

I was practicing like crazy in anticipation for the big moment. I wanted to be as prepared as possible for this, spending hours at the piano, playing and singing until I was hoarse. It was all starting to catch up to me, though. I had fallen asleep in my first two classes three times in one week and I felt sluggish all the freaking time. I started to think if it was possible to attach an IV of coffee to my arm and hope for the best. 

Shane could tell I was exhausted too. He would buy me coffee in the morning and bring it to me at my locker as I was drifting off while exchanging books. 

"You really need to get some sleep," he said, handing me the steaming hot cup every morning. 

I waved him off. "I just want to be prepared, that's all," I insisted. "This has to go well, or else I'm kind of screwed."

"I know, I know," he said, "but running yourself ragged isn't going to help you either. You could get sick or lose your voice and then you'd be mad at yourself for overdoing it."

I knew he was right, but I was a perfectionist and I wasn't going to rest until I felt that I had it right. Of course, Shane knew this all too well because it was just part of my personality. He made sure to keep me busy so I could keep my mind off of it. He took me to get ice cream a couple of times and to the book store another night because he knew how much I loved to read. Wandering the stacks of a book store to me was probably what smoking crack was like to a drug addict. 

My mom was also really worried about my (over) dedication to preparing for the audition. She came down one Saturday morning and found me sleeping on the couch with a manuscript book in front of me, slightly covered with drool. 

"Riley, this is not going to work," she said, picking up the book and setting it on the piano. "I know you want to feel as certain as possible about this audition, but that's the thing with auditions. You never know what's going to happen. But you're prepared, you know that you are and putting yourself through what you're doing is not helping anyone, and frankly, it's making ME anxious just watching you." 

I sighed and tried to tame my tangled hair that looked to have a mind of its own. I needed some coffee and some decent sleep, because there really wasn't anything else I could do. I had practiced my two pieces as much as possible, and even though they weren't my usual type of material, I knew it was stuff those running the audition would like to hear. 

I settled for what I had done to this point and finally accepted that whatever happened was what was meant to happen. If it didn't work out, I would take it as a sign that it just wasn't meant to be that I go to NYU. 

****

I came home from school on the Friday before we left for New York and sat down at the island, reading this book I had just bought at the book store. It was fascinating. There's nothing like a good book that you get so invested in. 

I finished the chapter I was on and set the book aside. Grabbing a glass of water, I walked into the living room and switched on the TV, but there was nothing good on, so I turned to the piano again. I know, I know, this girl has to be a psycho. But when I got nervous, the thing I turned to was music and sometimes, listening to it just wasn't enough. 

I sat down and felt the keys under my fingers and took a deep breath. I started to play a few songs that I knew off the top of my head and sang along mindlessly. When I had finished my third song or so, I checked my phone and was humming along as I aimlessly checked Twitter. I wasn't even trying to think of a melody when I hummed a three note pattern that I couldn't seem to get out of my head.