Path to Deciduous (Sequel to Road to Evergreen) | #Wattys2018

f o u r t y

Songs for this chapter:

Nick Jonas- Close
Snow Patrol - Chasing Cars
Coldplay- The Scientist
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"She wasn't doing a thing I could see, except standing there leaning on the balcony railing, holding the universe together." -J.D. Salinger
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Lesley's P.O.V

"I'm the guy who's too damaged to love but yet love anyway. I'm the guy who snaps at whoever dares to glance at you. I'm the guy who drags you out of a bar, party or whatever when you meet some other guy's eyes. I'm the one ruining you, but you're not escaping." He pauses as his gaze meets mine. "Why aren't you escaping?" His voice comes out wounded. Even his eyes seem to crack like glass, leaving a lighter shade underneath.

I near the bed as he sits on the left side, his back slouched and his arms holding up his fit shoulders. My eyes trace every bend, curve and bump muscle on his naked back and I can't seem to stop. He stands up and I blink, snapping back. I feel the heat of his body radiate onto mine as my eyes unconsciously close. His palm fits at my cheek as I lean into it.

"Why aren't you escaping?" He repeats, begging me to answer.

"There's no lock for me to break." I cross my arms as my eyes fall to the ground. My throat is tight and I'm aching for something to numb the pain. "My mother knew about it. She made him choose between us or them. He chose them. I'm not sure which is worse than the other."

I want him to hug me but then again, I need the silence. Holding it in has been my mediocre for years and it still feels uncomfortable to share. He traces his fingers along my arm causing my eyes to shut. "I'm sorry," he says. I shake my head. "Never apologize for things that aren't your fault. Actually, never apologize for anything. Everyone prefers the fight."

"Where is that coming from?"

I shrug. "I need some air." I make my way to window and out on the fire-case before he has a chance to interject. I puff as he joins.

"I know. I know," he raises his hands in defeat. "Give it time, Lis. Everything will fall to it's place, and if it doesn't then it's a long fall."

I weakly smile at him, unsure what to say. "When will we hear back the verdict?"

He shrugs. "In a second, in a week, I don't know."

"How's your father?"

"He's getting better. It was a shock to him after he heard you on the witness stand. It was a shock to me." He turns to face me. "Why didn't you ever tell me the whole truth?"

"Because I didn't want you looking at me the way you are now."

"And what look is that?" He challenges. I shrug. "Nothing." I grab a lock of my hair and twist it with my fingers.

"Spencer called. Valerie is at his place." He digs his pocket for a fag and a lighter.

"What?" I frown. "After her breakdown at the hospital, I thought it was the end. I don't even want to know what that boy is shaping up to be."

Adam takes a long drag causing the cherry to lighten in flames. He puffs into clouds and I seem to watch, interested. "Hopefully nothing like me."

"That's a terrible thing to say. I know you have your fucked up ways of loving someone, but when you do, it's true."

He smirks. "Fucked up ways, eh?"

I crinkle my nose. "That's the best I could think of." It's only till now that I come upon the distance between us. It seems so far- like strangers.