Don't Call Me Crazy (boyxboy)

Chapter One. These lines

Months earlier.....

I've always had this habit of repeating lines from poems I've heard, over and over again in my head as I lay in my bed gazing at the ceiling. Poems from back when I liked to listen in on poetry slams and open mikes, watch poets share a piece of their soul and mine. I mean it used to be better than anything else I could be doing on a Saturday night. Before joining the football team, I had too much free time. At the time anything was better than going back home where the walls felt like they were suffocating me, where my nightmares became my reality all over again.

"I'm not a person, not anything other than a creation that no one noticed God fucked up on"

This lines basically represents my life but it doesn't really bother me. I'm okay with those facts. Okay with not being accepted for who I am because everyone only accepts me for who they think I am. They don't know the real truth and they didn't need to. I am who I am not because I want to be or have to be, but because there are things that made me this way. Everything I do, every action I take, every word that comes out of my mouth has a story and a reason behind it. I'm more brain than heart now a days.

I've always prided myself on knowing what's true. Never dwelling too much in the land of ignorant bliss. I see things for what they are. Not what they could be or what they could have been. No I see them for what they are now in this moment. Often times we get caught up in the past, regretting and reminiscing on pain and hardships. Other times we live in the future, trying to plan every step ahead but the truth is there's no way to predict the future and there are only two things we can't get back in life, time and dead loved ones. So what's the point in living, if you're not living in the present? The only thing you can do is make the best of this moment.

I stretched out, yawning as I run a hand threw my messy hair. Glancing over at my phone I saw it was just past 12am and I have school in 8 hours, which gives me 7 hours to sleep and 30minutes to go back to sleep again after I hit snooze, and another 30minutes to get dressed and go to school. Sounds perfect.

I snorted out loud, not caring how loud I am. That's one of the good things about have parents who don't care about you, they leave so often it's like living alone. There are no ears to hear the noises I make, nothing except the echoing off these cold walls. I took a deep breath turning on my sleep playlist as I relaxed into my bed. M83's My Tears Are Becoming a Sea drifted through my ears, my eyes drifting closed as I fell into a deep much needed sleep.