Covered In Ink

Chapter 35|Just sit tight

I accepted the call, pressing the phone to my ear.

"Ryan, what is it?"

"Hazel?" I could immediately tell that something was wrong. He called me Hazel, he hadn't done that since a couple of days after we met. His voice wavered as if he was barely holding it together. He sounded afraid. No, he sounded terrified.

"Yeah, I'm here." He didn't reply for a moment, but I could hear his breathing through the phone, so I knew he was there.

"Hazel, he's gone." His voice broke as he spoke, which only made it that much more heartbreaking. I felt a single tear slip down my cheek, which was followed by another, but I quickly stopped myself, realising that I needed to be strong. I needed to be strong for Ryan.

"I don't...I don't know what to do," he sniffed. "I'm in his room, but they already took him away. It still smells like him, Archie doesn't understand..." His voice wavered. "Can you...come and get me?"

"Yeah, of course, whatever you need," I said quickly. "Just sit tight, I'll be there as soon as I can."

I threw a sweater over my Pyjama top, leaving the sweatpants on that I had been sleeping in. I didn't really care how acceptable my appearance was at that point. I flew down the stairs, missing the last one and almost breaking my butt as I fell on the ground. More tears fell. I wasn't sure if those were from the pain I was feeling in my ass, or the pain in my heart. Either way, I still had to pull myself together. I hauled myself off the floor and dragged myself to the kitchen where my keys were hung on a hook. I snagged them quickly and tracked out to Elmo, leaving the front door unlocked, and possibly open, I can't remember. Elmo coughed to life, and I haphazardly backed out of the driveway, not looking for any other traffic before I did so. During the short drive to the hospital I had allowed myself to cry, which probably wasn't safe for me, or anyone in the path of my car because I wasn't really focused on the road. I don't really remember the drive to the hospital, but I can assume that my driving was pretty erratic.

I parked in the first free spot that I saw, throwing open the door, accidentally hitting the car next to it. Thankfully there was no visible damage and the car alarm didn't go off. I jumped out of the jeep and slammed the door, locking it. I walked up the hospital path in my pyjamas with nothing but my keys in my hand. It was only then that I realised I wasn't wearing shoes. Hell, I wasn't even wearing a bra. Going in public braless, that is what I call dedication.

I knew the path to Mr Martinez' room well. I had been there almost everyday in the past week with Ryan, and learnt that he was in the hospice part of the hospital. Basically meaning that because they couldn't do anything for him, all they could do was keep him comfortable until he passed.

The scene outside his room was very upsetting. Evan and Stella were hugging in a mess of sobs and tears. Their shoulders heaving as they mourned their loss. Little Archie was squashed into the middle of the hug. His eyes were glistening, but he looked confused, like he didn't understand that his daddy wasn't just sleeping.

I skirted past them, leaving my presence unannounced. I quietly entered the room. It was silent. Deathly silent. Ryan sat on his own next to the bed, which only minutes ago had been occupied.

He looked up at me, unshed tears threatening to spill over. His bottom lip was quivering, but he was biting it, as if to stop himself from crying.

He stood up shakily and started walking towards me. I too walked towards him, worried that he might trip or something with his legs being so shaky.

He looked at me desperately, pleading with his eyes for me to help him. I didn't know how to help him. I'd never lost someone I loved, especially someone I was so close to. He was asking the wrong person for advice, but I was going to try my best.

"I don't know what-how I'm supposed to...I can't-" He stumbled over his words. This was really the first time I had ever seen him so vulnerable.

I swallowed the lump in my throat, deciding that I could save the tears for when Ryan wasn't around. He needed me.

I didn't know how to verbally approach the situation, so instead I pulled him into a hug. A hug that he didn't respond to, but I didn't give up. He was hunched over, his face pressed against my hoody, and my shoulders baring the brunt of his weight.

"It's okay to cry," I said softly into his ear. "It won't change my opinion of you, and it doesn't make you weak, it just means that you care."

He didn't move for a while, but eventually his shoulders started shaking, then his whole body was wracked with heaving sobs, his arms retracting from his sides and wrapping themselves around my body.

We stayed standing there for probably close to half an hour, but I didn't mind. I could tell after a while that Ryan was trying his hardest to steady his breathing, but he was occasionally hiccuping the way you do after you've cried so hard that you've deprived your lungs of oxygen. Well, I don't know if that's medically correct, but it sounds legit, right?

He straightened up, loosening his grip on me, but not completely letting go. I wiped his eyes with my hands, and his lips twitched, but understandingly, a smile didn't follow.

"Thank you," he whispered, his voice still hoarse.

"Don't thank me," I said gently. "I'll always be here, you know that right?"

He nodded. "I know."

We stood in silence again for another few minutes.

"Sunshine?" He mumbled.

"Mmm?"

"Do you think there's a heaven?" He wondered.

I shrugged. "I've never really been sure," I said. "But if there is one, I'm sure there's a special place reserved for your dad there."

He seemed to believe what I was saying because he placed his head back on my shoulder and clutched me like he would never let me go.

~*~*~*~

I really shouldn't have been listening to the song Travelling Soldier while writing this. It was like a double sad overload.

Raise your hand if you're sad. Ah crap, I don't have enough hands to express the mega sadness I feel right now. This is my first character to ever die. Gah, I don't think I can kill anyone else, it hurts too much.

As I said at the start, this isn't the last chapter, so don't worry.

You know what I think we should do? I think we should get this book to a million reads. Am I a genius, or am I a genius?

Don't answer that.

But it really is a good idea.

Vote, comment, follow.

Until next time.