so for those of you who didn't know, I've never had a dad, or any sort of father figure. my mom hasn't been married in 25 years, and I was artificially inseminated (I'm 99% sure that's the right word). basically I was conceived using a doner.
I've always kind of thought about the man who helped bring me to life. I know nothing about him, and neither does my mother. I never really questioned anything though. I was fine with just one parent.
lately though, I've been thinking about him a lot. it's kinda been eating me up inside, not even knowing my father's name. I keep thinking about how most of the people I know have two parents, whether they're divorced or not. they're still there, you know? I've never gotten that. the closest I've ever had to a father figure was a fucking prick my mom almost remarried that hated me.
I can't stop thinking about what would be different in my life with two parents. like, if I had a dad, would he accept me for being trans? would he convince my mom to accept me? or would be be a literal sack of shit like the man that I mentioned earlier? I just really need to know, you feel?
I've never mentioned this to my mom, and I'm not going to. she works her ass off to provide for me and my sister, and I know she already feels bad for being a single mom.
idk this is just killing me man
