Dance Forever

Chapter 17

Chapter 17
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"Where did you go earlier?" tanong sa akin ni Vini nang nagdi-dinner na kami.

Hindi na nakasabay kumain sa amin si Liza at Belle dahil nauna na sila kanina habang hinihintay kong makauwi si Vini. Medyo na-late siya nang uwi ngayon dahil marami siyang inasikaso. I think Sarto's planning to expand again.

"Kay doktora lang." sagot ko.

"Doktora?" kumunot ang kaniyang noo. "Sinong doktora? Aren't you feeling well?"

"Easy, Vini. I went to my ob." paglilinaw ko sa kaniya na nakangiti pa rin.

I didn't know but the way he smiled today was so genuine. Nung kasal pa ata namin huling beses ko siyang nakitang ngumiti nang ganoon.

"Wait... Bella, are you?..." he trailed off.

Ang ngiti ko naman ang nawala ngayon. I think I should've told him straight that doktora gave me pills to increase my fertility and the chances to get pregnant.

Looks like I'm going to disappoint him today again.

"Uh... Doktora gave me pills to increase my fertility. Para mapabilis tayong makabuo." sabi ko't nahanda ko na ang sarili ko sa pagkawala ng kaniyang ngiti.

"Oh... I thought you're..." he trailed off, again. This time, not because of excitement but because of disappointment.

"I'm sorry." I apologized sincerely at saka bahagyang napayuko.

Binitawan ko ang kubyertos na aking hawak at saka sumandal ng maayos sa upuan. Pakiramdam ko'y nawalan na ako ng ganang kumain.

"Why are you saying sorry?" he asked.

"Cause I made you feel disappointed... again." I answered, still not looking at him.

"Bells, it's nothing. I'm not disappointed." he said, but I knew better.

I know that he's lying, saying that he's not disappointed.

"Don't lie, Vini. I know you are." sabi ko't nag-angat na ng tingin sa kaniya. "Ilang beses ko na bang napasama ang loob mo dahil hindi ako mabuntis ng maaga? It's been going on for a while now. You're always disappointed about it." I stated facts.

"Come on, Bella, let's not make it a big deal." kalmado niyang sabi't binitawan na rin ang kubyertos niyang hawak.

"But it's already a big deal, Vini!" I exclaimed. "Can't you see or feel it? Nagkakaroon na ng gap ang relasyon nating mag-asawa nang dahil sa isyung 'to."

I looked away at him to try and keep myself calm. I licked my lower lip and brushed my hair back using my fingers before I averted my eyes again on him.

Kita kong bahagya siyang natigilan nang dahil sa aking sinabi't pakiramdam ko'y parehas kaming nagpipigil ngayon.

"Kung hindi mo nararamdaman, ako kasi ramdam na ramdam ko." pag-amin ko. "You're always sweet to me, Vini... Kahit anong gawin kong isip na napaka-sweet mo talaga, alam kong behind those sweetness na pinapakita mo sa akin, there's always a hint of bitterness."

"So, you think I'm playing sweet then?" he asked and I can feel his temper rising up. "Bella, we're not playing house. You're my wife in this fucked up reality. I'm always sweet because I want you to feel how much I love you as your husband. Yung hindi mo maisip na katulad ako ng iba na sa una lang magaling magparamdam ng pagmamahal. Gusto ko maramdaman mong mahal na mahal kita noon at mas mahal na mahal kita ngayon. You know those clichés na sinasabi nilang kapag newly weds, sa first year lang daw sweet? I don't want us to be like that, that's why I'm trying my best. Hindi ko man lang alam na ganiyan pala ang iniisip mo, everytime I'm trying my best to make you feel loved, happy and special."