Can't Remember to Forget You

Chapter Forty-Three

Owen

Very few days had gone by since the day I left Cassie behind in Myrtle Beach that I haven't thought of her. Even if a day did escape without her image popping into my mind, I never did make it through a night without dreaming of her.

The first few days had been the absolute worse.

Coming back to New York and my house alone had been the worst feeling in the world. I knew I had done the right thing, but it still killed me to go into her room and pack up all of her things to send to her. I had to have Troy come stay with me the first few nights, then after a few weeks he just moved in. Troy tried his best to help me keep my mind off of her, but I didn't have the heart to tell him it was impossible to do. Cassie will always be a part of me.

My whole life had changed because of her. I had been headed nowhere fast except for maybe an early grave like Donovan. My lifestyle had really taken a toll on me until the day Cassie swept in and threw it all into chaos. Without knowing or meaning to she had single handedly changed me. When I got back to New York I was determined to become the type of man that Cassie could be proud of, the kind of man that was worthy of a girl like her.

Barker had been pretty disappointed when I told him I just couldn't work for him anymore. I had thought of him all wrong all of these years though. Sure the guy was a crook and hard, but he was a decent man too. He is the closest thing I have had to a real father. He had been reluctant at first, but he finally agreed to let Troy replace me as his second in command. It had been a win-win for me. I finally got out of the lifestyle that was ruining me, and I was able to hook up my friend. Barker even pulled some strings and got me a legitimate job in legal sales at an insurance company an hour outside of New York.

I bided my time and worked my way up to a pretty stable position.

After a year I bought a new place a little closer to work and sold my old place to Troy. It had been hard to leave the place I had so many memories at with Cassie, but I had been hopeful I'd have a chance to make new memories with Cassie at my new house.

I had distanced myself from the "business" and was living a nice, boring, legal life. I had plenty of money set aside and it was finally time for me to return for Cassie.

I had decided to show up to surprise her on the one year anniversary of the day we had parted ways. I skipped checking in at my hotel and I drove straight to her house from the airport. I had literal butterflies flying all around in my stomach as I knocked on the front door.

"Oh wow." Margo said as she opened the door. "Owen?"

"I'm here to see Cassie." I had proclaimed proudly.

The look that crossed Margo's face told me it was about to be bad news. "Cassie just left a little while ago." She said awkwardly. "She's um...Cassie is seeing Trevor." She spit out. "I'm sorry Owen. I am pretty sure Trevor is proposing tonight." She added.

It was a ton of bricks on my heart.

I was too late.

"I will tell Cassie you came by." She said gently.

"No." I smiled. "If Cassie is happy, then please promise me you won't tell her I was here. That'll only be more embarrassing for me. Please promise you won't."

"If you are sure." Margo responded nodding her head. "She really is happy."

I smiled genuinely. Maybe it isn't how I had wanted the trip to go, but I was happy nonetheless to know Cassie is doing well and is happy with someone. "Thank you." I told Margo. "You can take these." I said handing her the embarrassingly large bouquet of flowers I was holding.

"Oh, thank you Owen." She said as she took them from me.

I had a suspicion that he may have taken her to her favorite place on the beach. I decided to torture myself just a little more and drive by the restaurant. I had parked outside and walked around to the beach side so that I could peak in.

Sure enough she had been inside.

I watched them laughing and dancing together by the bar.

That should've been me.

I'd drove back to the airport and flew back home after that.

Knowing that she was happy will just have to be enough.

In a perfect world I would have gone and she would have been waiting for me still. She'd have run out to me and I could have twirled her around and told her how much I love her and missed her all this time.

At the same time, I am a little bit relieved she didn't spend the last year of her life being sad or pining for me. Cassie had no idea I was turning my life around to come back for her so I couldn't be upset that she had moved on. It hurt, but it was a good hurt.

I'll just have to make a new game plan. I need to move on too I suppose. I haven't been with any girl since Cassie, and I still don't want to be, but maybe it is time to try and open myself up to the possibility of finding love again.

Instead of being sad that night, I went to sleep thinking of all of the things Cassie had given me and how much she deserved to live happily ever after even if it wasn't with me.