Can't Remember to Forget You

Chapter Seven

Cassie

I would say I have never been more confused in my whole life, but that could be a lie. I wouldn't know if it was or not, but it could be. This whole situation is so much to take on. I don't know who this person is that I keep hearing about. She isn't me, that's for sure.

I would never do the things I have heard that girl did.

I was raised better than that. I don't drink, or do drugs. I never even so much as skipped a single class or cheated on a test. I don't cuss, I don't steal, and I don't smoke. I'm just not like that.

After talking with the doctor yesterday I wasn't sure if I would be able to face today. A new day in this messed up life. I keep wishing, more than anything, that I could just talk to my parents. If they were here they could make this ok. Even now just thinking of them makes me want to be tough. My father always wanted my sister and I to be strong girls. He told us every single day that we could be anything we wanted to be and that we didn't need anyone to hold us up. I loved my parents so much.

I can't believe I will never see them again.

My eyes burn at the thought, but I am all cried out. I had done a lot of crying yesterday. All I want right now is to be wrapped up in one of my dad's bear hugs. I want to smell his cologne and feel that safe feeling I always got from being around him. I want my momma to be here, brushing my hair back and reminding me to sit with my knees closed. I miss them both. I've adored them for all of the time I can remember. One of the things I hate the most about them being gone is that I won't see the two of them together again. I'm truly grateful that their memory is not one I lost. Just seeing the way my parents used to look at each other is a memory I will always hold dear. That man loved that woman. There wasn't a soul that could doubt it from being around them. My momma and daddy had the type of relationship other people just have to dream about.

I guess I wasn't completely out of tears, one did find its way out and down my cheek.

If I had had the choice on what memories to lose, I would have chosen it this way. I always want to remember my family.

I carefully got out of my bed and walked over to the bathroom.

The doctors had finally disconnected everything and I was staying in a much nicer room now. The freedom from my bed felt nice, but as I moved around I was still a bit sore. They told me that shouldn't last much longer though, and apparently I have been through worse.

I finished up in the bathroom and then went to the phone and dialed my house phone.

I desperately needed to talk to Margo. Surely once she heard from me she would come. Once she knew what had happened I am sure she'll be on the next flight. The phone rang and rang but finally someone answered.

"Hello?" It was a man's voice I didn't recognize.

"Um, hi." I tried to sound cheery. "This is Cassie, Cassie Clark. Who is this?"

There was a long pause. "Oh, well hi Cassie. I am your brother-in-law, Kyle."

Whoa! Margo got married??

"Can I talk to my sister please, it is urgent."

"Look Cassie, I am real sorry about your troubles and all, but Margo just doesn't want to talk to you. I'm real sorry." He sounded like a nice guy. Good for Margo.

I hung up the phone because I didn't really know what else I could have done. Somehow I have got to sort everything out.

I picked the phone back up and dial the only other number I have memorized.

The line rings for Trevor a few times but then a woman answered the phone. I guess things really have changed. Not only are we obviously not together anymore, but he has a new girlfriend already? Well, maybe it has been a long time. I have no idea when or why we broke up.

I have no idea how my parents died, why my sister hates me, how I ended up on drugs, why my boyfriend isn't my boyfriend anymore, or anything important actually.

I need someone who knows.

I walked out to the hall and to the nurse's station.

"Can I help you?" one of them asked me sweetly.

I returned her smile. "Yes ma'am, I was wondering if I have a cell phone?"

"I will go find that out for you Miss." She replied and got up to walk away.

I went back to my room to wait.

I toyed with a strand of my hair and noticed how nasty my hair is. I have really got to get in the shower. I wonder how long it has even been since I've had one. Oh god, has someone been sponge bathing me? Ugh. That would mean someone saw me naked. I cringed and my face got hot from embarrassment.

The nurse walked in and told me that there wasn't a phone recovered for me, but that if I wanted it I could call someone on the hospital phone to bring me my stuff.

I thanked her, even though it wasn't very helpful.

I don't know anyone that I could call. That was why I wanted my phone, so I could see if I had any friends that could fill me in on my own life.

I looked over to the bedside table and saw the number scrawled out on the notepad.

I guess I do know one person.

I really don't want to call him though. He makes me so nervous. When the doctor said that that guy was my boyfriend I had almost peed in my hospital gown. He didn't look anything like the guys I used to date back home. I had always dated nice, clean cut, and wholesome boys.

First of all, this guy was certainly not a boy. He was a man. Second, he was so handsome. Not in the cute way, but in the like "Oh my Lanta" kind of way. I can still feel his shadowed green eyes looking at me. He was so rugged and I don't know...sexy? I giggled a little at the thought. He wasn't my type at all. Obviously he is though if he is my boyfriend.

My fingers were shaking lightly as I reached for the notepad and dialed the number. I almost hung it up twice before I heard his strong voice come through the phone.

"Yeah?" He said. I tried to talk but nothing came out. I was just opening and closing my jaw like a dweeb. "Hello?" He asked.

"What's up?" I blurted. Why the heck did I say that? God, I'm such a loser.

"Who is this?"

"Sorry, it's Cassie. I don't know why I said that. Please just forget I called." I went to slam the receiver down but he called to me.

"Wait." He still sounded confused. "Cassie?"

"Yeah, I'm still here."

"How's it going?" He asked awkwardly. Thank God I am not the only one.

"I'm good I guess." I said. "Look, I was calling because I don't know anyone else. Well, if I do know anyone else, I don't have their number. I need someone to bring me some of my stuff but you're the only person I can think of."

"Your stuff?" He repeated.

"Yeah. Just some clothes, bath stuff, my phone, maybe a journal? I used to keep one, I don't know if I still do. Oh, and some magazines? I tried to watch TV earlier but I had no clue who anyone was or what I was watching so that may help me catch up." I realized I was being my usual motor mouth and had to shut myself up.

"Wow, um, ok." He said. "Anything else?"

"Could you bring me a coffee? The kind they have here is terrible. Oh, and something to eat?"

I thought I heard him laugh a little. It was too quiet to tell for sure.

"I'm sorry," I told him. "That's too much, it is fine."

"No, that's ok." He paused. "Give me an hour, or two?"

"Sure."