Burn ▶▶JB ✔

XII Without You

Song of the chapter: 'Wherever you will go' Charlene Soria (Play it in the background for them feels)

Here's the youtube vid for ya'll.

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Sandra

So lately, been wondering
Who will be there to take my place
When I'm gone, you'll need love
To light the shadows on your face
If a great wave shall fall
It would fall upon us all
And between the sand and stone
Could you make it on your own?

My eye were shut as I concentrated on my voice while I was on the small stage of a vintage bar me, Kylie, Fredo and Ryan had come to.

And I could only see his face. I miss him. It's just been a week and it already feels like ages without him. I'm afraid I won't survive this. The audience was silent as I sang.

Maybe they could feel my pain, maybe they could feel how much I miss him. Maybe some of them had a Justin in their life and they lost him too, so maybe they understand my pain.

If I could, then I would
I'll go wherever you will go
Way up high or down low
I'll go wherever you will go.....

I sobbed and felt the tears run down my face. I don't even know why I came up here and why out of all the songs, I'm singing this one.

And maybe. I'll work out
A way to make it back some day
Towards you, to guide you
Through the darkest of your days

I smiled to myself through my tears as I replayed every smile and laugh I shared with Justin in a quick recap.

His smile can cure cancer.

If a great wave shall fall
It would fall upon us all
Well I hope there's someone out there
Who can bring me back to you

I swallowed the lump in my throat and sang the chorus again.

Run away with my heart
Run away with my hope
Run away with my love

I know now, just quite how
My life and love might still go on
In your heart, in your mind
I'll stay with you for all of time....

I remembered how he was crying on the last day and the time when he was leaving. He loves me, I know it.

My voice softened as I sang the chorus one last time to end the song.

If I could, then I would
I'll go wherever you will go
Way up high or down low
I'll go wherever you will go.........

If I could make you mine
I'll go wherever you will go
If I could turn back time
I'll go wherever you will go

 I'll go wherever you will go  

The audience started clapping after a long pause and I wiped my face dry.

"Thank you" I mumbled softly before the lights dimmed and I got up and got down the stairs and walked to the table where all my friends were sitting.

"That was amazing, I never really cry over songs but you got me, damn it" Fredo said as he hugged me from behind after I sat on my chair.

"I'm two seconds away from sending this video recording to Justin" Ryan said.

"No Ry....don't" I said and he sighed.

"This shit is hurting me now even though I'm not a part of it at all, is this weird, am I sick Fredo?" Kylie said.

I sighed and I just gulped down my glass of beer. What number? I've lost record of how many gallons of alcohol I've been drinking.

"Hey, that was really amazing, beautiful..." A random stranger came up to me. I smiled and nodded at him.

"Thank you" I said and he walked away.

Just then, my phone started ringing. I fished it out from my bag and sighed when I saw the caller ID 'Jay <3'.

"It's him?" Kylie asked and I nodded.

"For the thirty seventh time in a week....yes I'm counting" Fredo said before I picked the phone up.

"Hey" I said.

"Hey Sand, how are you" He said softly. His voice really helped me calm down.

"I'm....I'm good, I'm hanging with our friends right now" I said.

"Oh, we're about to go on a beach, it's pretty hot here" He said.

"And we went on this boat yesterday to see dolphins and the guide introduced us to a dolphin he named sassy pants" He said and I couldn't help but laugh.

"That's my pet name!" I said and heard him laugh too.

"He told us that she's really sassy and plays really hard to get but once she starts liking the tourists, she's really good with them. She was a dolphin version of you" He said and I gasped.

"You still think I'm sassy!?" I whined.

"That is never going to change, I know it" He said.

"Alright, I'll call you later, we're leaving" He said.

"Okay, bye"

"Bye Sand" He said and hung up.

"If him calling helps you smile, then I don't mind" Kylie said.

"It's just momentary anyways, let's go home" I said and stood up.

Nobody told me that life with Justin would be so hard.

Justin

We were just lying on the beach and sun bathing. Si's head was on my chest while both our eyes were closed.

My hand was itching to reach inside the pocket of my basketball shorts for the phone so that I can call and talk to Sandra again.

I'm missing her more than I thought I would, and it keeps getting worse with every next second. So much that it starts hurting me physically.

There are times, I just want to lock myself somewhere and cry and sob my heart out but I don't get a single chance.

I'm on my honeymoon with the person I love, I should be happy.

But the problem here is, I've started loving some other person more than I love the person I love.

The person I love being Sierra and some other person being Sandy.

I try to find a reason to hate her but I can't. Not a single one.

And my reason for loving her? I can't find that too, it's unconditional.

My love for Sandra is unconditional, devoid of any limitations and it doesn't respect any boundaries.

But if it keeps on continuing this way then I'm going to destroy myself. I will never be able to give Sierra the whole of my heart, I will never be able to love her right. I will break another heart because of my own broken heart and I don't want to do that.

I need something to take Sandra out of my system somehow.

From now on, I'll call her less, talk limited and forget her.

I hope I succeed even though I don't see any chances of it.

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Filler chapterrrrrr

From the next chapter onwards keep your tissues by your side, ya'll will need it.

And who all liked the song? It will forever top the list of my 'mellow jams'

Vote n comment!

-Love, S