behind the badass ⊸ a lauren/you story

twelve | just another mountain

Quite a few more dates along the road and Lauren and I were going strong. Sure, there were some bumps in the road; and sure, it was tough to get through them, but I finally worked up to courage to ask her one of many important questions.

Before I could though, I had to get a few things prepared. Caroline new this guys who knew this guy, who's cousins brother worked with rings and such. He engraves them and tinkers with a bunch of different types of jewelry. I asked him if she could hook me up and he said he'd have the rings ready in a few weeks, but to check back every Saturday to make sure everything was going smoothly.

I went to pick them up before going to Lauren's house, and they were absolutely perfect. Engraved on one of them was 'always.' and on the other, 'forever.'

"Yo! Bernie! I'm here for the rings!" I shouted, my voice ringing through the room.

"Ah! Y/N! I got them right here! Hold on!"

A few minutes later, he came out with two velvet boxes. He pointed to the one on the right, which was mine, and told me the one on the left was Lauren's. I took them and thanked him.

"Tell me how it goes, kiddo!" he smiled, waving to me as I walked out.

"Of course!"

It seemed almost like déjà vu—I was once again wiping my sweaty palms on my jeans and knocked on the door while taking a much needed breath. I knocked three times, then backed up to make some space for myself. Nothing could get in the way now.

"Hello...? Can I... Help you?"

My jaw dropped at the sight of the curly-haired boy, lipstick marks upon his whole face. I could smell the vanilla perfume radiating off of him, and I immediately knew something was up.

Noticing my dumbfounded look, Brad smirked. "I'm here for Lauren," I spoke confidently. "But I must have the wrong house."

Out of the corner of my eye, I saw the signature house number of the Jauregui's. I definitely had the right house, so what was no-lipped boy doing at my girlfriends house?

"No, you have the right house," he reassured, a mischievous grin playing on his lips. I huffed and pushed him aside lightly, standing awkwardly in the middle of their living room. "Lauren! Someone's here to see you!"

Rapid footsteps came closer and at the top of the stairs Lauren stood with a happy smile. "Who—"

Brad eyed me up and down and looked back at Lauren, waiting for her to speak up again, but he beat her to it. "It's Y/N."

"Oh," she said rather disappointedly. "Hi, Y/N."

No pet names? I found her behavior odd, but shrugged it off since she could always explain later—not that there was much to explain anyway.

"W-uh... What're you two doing?" I asked impatiently, my foot tapping against the wood floor anxiously. Whatever was coming couldn't be good and I was definitely not ready. The possibilities were endless at this point.

"We were..." Lauren stopped to think, but I'd had it up to here. Her lipstick matched the shade of lipstick that covered Brad's face and knowing this, his cocky smile never faltered.

"Cheating? Were you cheating on me, Lauren?" I queried rather harshly. My words seemed to hit her hard as she took a step back and avoided eye contact with me. "I thought I gave you what you wanted. Apparently not."

I walked back outside, but stopped abruptly. I stepped out into the crisp air and gripped the box in my jacket pocket. I'd almost forgotten.

"Since I clearly wasn't what you wanted, I'll let you go. I'll also stop forming false hopes in my mind, yeah? How could you ever like someone like me? After all, I am just a player—a disgusting player." I walked back into Lauren's living room and placed the velvet box on the small coffee table, then made my leave.

"Y/N! Wait!"

I continued walking home as tears continued to form in my eyes. Everything was blurry, but I made it back just fine.

I walked into my room and sat on my bed, allowing single tears to fall onto my lap. She didn't even try to explain herself or stop me. I should've expected this though.

I buried my face into my pile of pillows. At least they were there to catch my tears this time around.

My phone buzzed, so I answered, assuming it was someone I would want to talk to. Bernie or Caroline, maybe. Or even my dad, but no—I was wrong.

"Y/N, just hear me out. Please. I have a reason."

I sighed and hung up, only to be left to multiple voicemails.

"Please. I'm sorry," she sobbed, "I was worried. Y-you were distant. I needed someone."

They just kept flooding in one after another.

"I'm sorry! I can't take that damn beeping noise any longer, Y/N! Pick up, p-please! I know you can hear me... I know you're listening to all of these."

Through all her messages, my heart dropped lower and lower into my stomach, pieces chipping off one piece at a time.

I could sense her voice getting weaker and losing hope with each individual voicemail, and it broke my heart. Though I guess you can't break what's already broken.

~

My world became consumed by stress and fear, so I isolated and locked myself up again. No one was really in my life besides Cara and Ariana. Not even my dad or Caroline could get me to do anything.

And still, Lauren wouldn't stop calling. I'd get a minimum of 10 voicemails a day, and she didn't sound the same. I'd take anything to hear her voice though, which is why I never blocked her number.

But through all this, Ariana was there for me.

"Y/N."

I groaned and rolled over, seeing Ari standing in the doorway. She gave me a small smile and walked over to me, wrapping her arms around my body.

"You know," she whispered, "I miss the old you. The happy you. I don't like seeing you sad, it hurts me."

"I know..." I sighed and melted in the smaller girl's arms, finally accepting her into my embrace as well. "Thank you, Ari."

"I'll always be here for you." She pulled away and cupped my cheeks.

I leaned into her touch and smiled at the warmth. I remembered how warm Lauren's hands would be when I held them; or how red her face would get when I teased her; or the way she'd scrunch her nose when she was confused; I missed it all. "I think it's time I move on—for real this time."

She giggled and shook her head. "You can't move on, silly. You both love each other. You were meant to be."

"If she loved me she wouldn't have cheated on me," I retorted.

"Oh, Y/N. That's what they all say, but you know what I say?" She paused, I raised an eyebrow. "Open your eyes to the opportunities and new possibilities! This is just another mountain you two will get over! And on the other side of that mountain is a long lasting relationship!"

She was so enthusiastic when it came to these kinds of things. She could make me smile when I didn't want to, kind of like Lauren. It's not exactly the same, but it was close to it. "And what happens after that? There's just an endless amount of mountains?"

"Well it's more of a mountain range, but you know... And—"

"And this one is just another mountain to climb. I know." I smiled at her and she reciprocated, hugging me tightly. "I'm determined to get my happy ending."