Burn

Chapter 23

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I was in the passenger seat of Pete's car. After his little pep talk, we both got dressed. He agreed to drive me to the house and come back in about an hour. I would text him if I needed more or less time.

He pulled in front of my house and stopped. I took a shaky breath.

"Everything will be okay, Patrick. And if it isn't, we'll figure it out. We always do," Pete said, patting my shoulder.

I nodded and put up a facade of fake confidence. I opened the door and stepped out of the car. I listened to Pete drive away before walking to the door and letting myself in.

I saw familiar brown curls bobbing around the living room and timidly turned the corner. Elisa turned around, holding Declan in her arms.

"Patrick," she said, her eyes going wide.

"Elisa," I said, faltering, "c-can I see Declan?"

She nodded and walked over to me, holding my son out to me. I grabbed him by his waist and pulled him closer to me. I wrapped my good arm around him and held him close. If I held him any tighter, we would mesh together.

His little fist grabbed the collar of my jacket and his head fell against my chest. "Da...da...dada," his small voice said.

It was the second time I heard him talk. I almost started weeping right there, but held my ground. "I've missed him. So much," I said shakily.

Elisa nodded. "I would to. I'm so sorry, Patrick. I was being selfish. I was thinking too much about myself, not focusing enough on your feelings. Is there any way you can forgive me?"

I held Declan tight. "Tell me why you did it."

She seems taken aback, but continued. "Do I really have--"

"Elisa," I said, pulling her note out of my back pocket. She gasped when she saw it. I carried the damn thing everywhere. "Lis, this isn't enough. I woke up from fucking dying and I was given this. Please," I pleaded, "why?"

She looked down, ashamed. "That day, I thought you were finally getting better. I took Declan out to get you something to celebrate. Then I got that text from Brendon. I was so, so scared. I can't even describe it. The thought of losing you, it was too much. I rushed to the hospital and you looked so...weak. Then Brendon told us... you were legally dead for 97 seconds."

She took a deep breath, as if this was physically painful to get out. "The only thing I could think of was what if it happened again, but that time you didn't get up. I wouldn't be able to deal with that, Patrick."

"So you left me to deal with the same thing instead?" I interjected.

She let out a sob into her hands. "Patrick, I'm so sorry. So so sorry. I was being an idiot. I was too worried about my own feelings and didn't think about yours. I left because I was too scared of losing you!" she cried.

Declan was falling asleep in my arms. I went to his room and carefully placed him in his crib, kissing his head. I walked back to the living room to see Elisa looking at me with tearful eyes. I sat down on the couch across from her and started talking.

"Lis, what if this happens again? What if I get into a car accident and almost die again? How do I know you won't do this again?"

"Now I know, you won't leave. I know you're a fighter now. I believe that you'll pull through, whatever happens. I know you'll always be there for Dec," she responded.

"And it took me literally dying for you to figure this out? Lis, if we switched positions, I would stick with you till the end."

"How do you know that? Do you know how much it hurt to see you dying in that hospital bed?" she almost shouted.