Patrick P.O.V.
Please come over tomorrow
I stared at my phone, willing the words to go away.
I missed Elisa, I missed her more than anything. She's a piece of me. I'm incomplete without her.
But every time I see her face, that feeling of self hatred comes back. Bad thoughts swirl around in my head for hours on end. It makes me want to do things that aren't good.
But I had to see her. I needed to talk to her. I needed to see Declan.
I hesitantly held my phone in my good hand and slowly typed out:
Sure.
I hit send with a feeling of regret brewing in my stomach.
Once again, I didn't have a very good night's sleep.
******
I slowly opened my very tired eyes. I just wanted to fall asleep and never wake up.
But, unfortunately, I had to go see Elisa today.
I looked at my phone and saw it was 11:00. I forced my legs over the side of the bed and stood up. I walked to the kitchen and made a bowl of cereal. I went to the living room where I saw Pete playing with Saint and Bronx.
Upon seeing me, he said, "Wow, you don't look so good. Everything okay?"
"Just tired," I muttered, taking a bite of cereal.
He glanced at me again but didn't say anything. I slowly ate the cereal, not paying mind to the people around me. My mind was too caught up in Elisa.
I was vaguely aware of someone tapping my shoulder. "Unca Patwick!"
I looked over and saw Saint leaning on my arm. "You okay man?" Pete asked.
I nodded. "What's up, little man?" I asked the baby.
He just hugged my arm again. I smiled at him and snuggled him closer. This was making me miss Declan.
I saw a drop of water hit Saint's head and realized I was crying. I wiped my eyes and kept my head down.
"Bronx, take your brother to the play room," I heard Pete say.
"Is Unca Patrick okay?" Bronx asked.
"I'm going to find out. Get your brother," Pete responded.
Bronx waddled over and pulled Saint off my arm. They left the room and I let a few more tears fall.
"'Trick, believe me, I know you. I know when you lie. You're not okay," Pete said, putting his arm around me.
"You got that fucking right," I said, burying my head in his shoulder.
He put his hand on the back of my head and asked,"Come on, be real. What's up?"
"It's just... I feel so worthless right now. I'm going to my house to see Elisa today. I'm scared. What'll happen? What the hell do I say? What if she changed her mind and decided she didn't want me back? What if I break down and start sobbing again? I'm so pathetic!" I cried.
"Aww, Patrick," he said, hugging me tighter.
He pulled away and held my face in his hands so I was looking him in the eyes. "Patrick Stump, you are the most talented, caring man I know. Even though you may be made up of duct tape and safety pins on the inside, you would give them away to anyone who needed it. You're so strong, you're my rock. Don't ever fucking call yourself worthless, because you aren't."
