DONGHAE's right check was throbbing and Ninz' right hand hurt from the reaction she had to what he said. “You have no right to judge me. You b-broke my heart...again.” she heard Donghae gasp and she continued. “I can't take it anymore. You already took everything I had last time that I loved you. I love everything...I lost someone I wanted to love for the rest of my life because of YOU!”
Donghae remembered the picture that was sent over by a friend of Ninz having a heart to heart with a man who was holding her hands. “He left you because he wasn't the first. What an asshole.”
“What crazy nonesense are you talking about now?” Ninz was so angry that she wanted to stab him with her stilletoes.
“Your boyfriend left you. That prick you were dating while I was here and you were in the Philippines!” there it was, he admitted defeat. He had lost the last bit of pride he had. His heart was going to burst because in it lived love and jealousy for this woman and this woman alone.
“How could you tell me that? How could you even think that about me?” she looked like he puched her in the gut. This time only tears fell. All the make-up was wiped off. She was more beautiful without it. The thought made him want to hold her but his anger was holding him back.
“No matter how you looked at this, this says enough to encriminate you.” He had the picture that was sent to him via e-mail. She covered her mouth when she saw it.
“Where did you get this picture?” she asked, grabbing the phone from him.
“My friend was visiting in your area. You should have kept your business discreet. My friends knew you were my girlfriend. You should have told me you wanted out. You didn't have to disappear on me then blame me for breaking us up!” Ninz started looked like she was going to faint. She held on to the car but she sat down on the ground in the end. She had her hands on the ground and her shoulders were shaking.
“Ironic that your friend took a picture of me when my obgyne friend was giving me advice against abortion.” Donghae was at her, holding her by the shoulders.
“Abortion?” She shook her head and then wiped her tears.
“Did you -? Am I a - ? Did you -? Oh my god.” he was happy and scared at the same time. Did this wonderful beautiful woman the mother of a child he didn't know about?
“I lost the baby.” her sobs came in painful and short bouts of breathlessness.
“I am sorry.”
“You should be. It was your fault. I was so happy when I found out. I was going to have our baby no matter what my family would say. I wasn't even going to ask them for help. I had the bar to get income from. I had a day job. I had my future planned out. I was going to be a good mother whether the world knew the baby was ours or not. But you took him away from me. You and your women with my damn love for you took away my baby!” she was hysterical by the end of her speech. She was hitting Donghae in the chest and in the face. She buried her face in her hands in agony.
Donghae helped her get up and carried her in a lover's carry. He set her down in the backseat of his car and sat beside her. She was too tired so she leaned her head on this shoulder. He held her to him and muttered apologies and promises.
“I don't believe you anymore.”the alcohol, emotional exhaustion and the physical toll took over and dragged her to a troubled sleep.
SHE looked at the picture next to the bed and saw a picture of her and Donghae hugging each other. She sunset was behind them and their faces were sun-burnt but happy. For a moment she felt like what had happened after that was a nightmare and she was waking up to a better reality.
Her headache reminded her that the bliss in that picture was the dream and reality is indeed the nightmare. She knew she had that picture somewhere in her scrapbooks but she didn't have the heart to burn them. That was her SuJu holiday scrapbook. She even shared the scanned version of it on a SuJu fan server. She never put that picture in a frame. She never WOULD'VE put that picture in any kind of frame let alone place where it would be the first and last thing she'd see when she was in bed.
A groan and the feeling of being pulled into warmth woke her completely. She was wearing some oversized shirt. She knew that scent and she faced it and found herself right where her heart was last truly happy.
