Doctor's Orders

28. Acute Pain

"Please, Ms. Baxter," I asked, trying not to sound like I was begging, even though I actually was. "It's turned out that the night shift is a terrible fit for me. I've tried to tough it out, but I believe I'd be at my best during the day shift. Is there any way-"

"I'll see what I can do," Ms. Baxter snipped. "But don't think I'm fooled by this night shift isn't a good fit  nonsense. I wasn't born yesterday; anyone with half a brain can figure out that there's something going on between you and Dr. Styles. So, just for the record, I will not be flip-flopping shifts simply to suit your romantic life."

My ability to grovel had reached a new low with that blunt request. I simply thanked her and left, hoping against hope that I wouldn't have to work with Harry any longer than necessary.

I changed into my scrubs, secured all my equipment for tonight's shift, and I was ready. Except I felt like I was going to vomit. I wasn't even this anxious on the day I started. But I was absolutely dreading the thought of seeing, hearing, or otherwise interacting with the doctor. God, I hoped he would send residents to do most of his work tonight.

I hit the ground running, which happens fairly often in our department. People who had over-indulged, over-imbibed, or had simply overdone it on the holiday weekend came in droves to our emergency department. Lucky us. 

The evening mainly consisted of respectful answers to asinine questions: 

"Yes, I'm positive it's not ebola, Mrs. Halstead. It's likely that you ate some bad potato salad."

"No, Mr. Young, you're not going to die from sunburn. But you can get cancer if you don't protect your skin, so wear sunscreen next time you go out on your yacht."

"I'm sorry, but I don't think the doctor will write Jimmy a medical excuse because you can't wake him up for school at 7:00."

As long as I was answering easy questions and texting Dr. Styles for answers, it was going well. I hoped I wouldn't have to see his face at all this shift. But I knew better than to ask for the impossible.

"Can we talk?" He asked about half-way through the shift, quietly passing by my station and jerking his head in the direction of his office.

"How can I help you, Dr. Styles?" I asked, not moving from my station.

"Ellie, please," he said in an urgent whisper. 

Against my better judgment, I followed him and he closed the door behind us. 

"You never let me say I was sorry," he said quietly.

"Are you?" I shot back.

"Yes, I'm very sorry I hurt you. I never wanted to do that. I just never thought Logan would come back."

"Are you fucking serious right now?" I hissed and he flinched at my vulgarity. "You never thought she would come back? That's supposed to make me feel better?! Like you would have been perfectly happy to fall in love and marry me as long as she didn't come back? Or maybe you'd just hang on to me until someone better came along, is that it?"

"I didn't mean it like that," he grumbled. 

"You basically said that you went out with me because you gave up hope that she would ever take you back?"

"I did not say that!" He snapped, trying not to raise his voice. 

"But it says the same thing to me, Harry." I opened the door after my hasty reply so that he couldn't say anything further without being heard out in the hallway. "I need to get back to work."

Luckily, the remainder of our encounters for the night were brief and all business-related. As we both clocked out, he had the gall to ask me if I needed a ride.

"Are you crazy?" I asked. 

"Would you stop being such a bitch for a minute so we can talk like civilized adults?" He said under his breath.

"Excuse me?" It took everything I had to not practice my new punching skills on him. "I'm the bitch for getting angry about this? What about your ex? What about you?  You think that the two of you are blameless, and I'm the bitch for getting in the way of your happiness? Get your priorities straight, Harry."

With that, I stormed out of the hospital, hoping he wouldn't follow, and he didn't. 

Instead of going home and sleeping right away, I went to the gym with Bridget again. Nothing like an hour on the punching bag to release some aggression. Better to do it there than to be fired and/or arrested for punching the shit out of the real object of my anger. On the way out, I asked for a membership application, but first I checked with Bridget to make sure that Harry didn't go to this gym. It would be just my luck to have him show up in yet another area of my life.

The next two shifts were painfully awkward whenever Harry and I were within ten feet of each other. Obviously, I had no idea what was going on with him, and he didn't try to talk to me anymore aside from work-related things, so that was a helpful. But he had this habit of staring at me mournfully, as if he was going to try to apologize again and then end up saying another idiotic thing. I wished I could relieve him of his guilt so he would just leave me alone once and for all. 

There were nights I wanted to go back to Bridget's place and have her baby me some more, but I knew I had to get past this. I tried to rationalize my way out of my funk. 

Okay, so I was kind of smitten with Harry. Big deal. They were just feelings, and feelings wear off eventually. Some day, I'll find a new man with who deserved my smitten-ness.

Okay, so Harry dumped me without any warning. It sucked, but it wasn't the end of the world, right? I still had a fantastic apartment and a job I loved, with the exception of him being nearby. I was still living the dream, minus the romance, but so what? Chicago was full or romance and I was young. My opportunities were far from over.

Harry didn't even know my family and he'd never been to my hometown. He didn't know Thomas was dying or how much that affected me. I had never met his parents outside of the cocktail party, and I'd seen his sister once, from the back. So, really, things hadn't been as serious between us as they felt. This was probably my fault for not dating more while I was in nursing school. The first guy I met, I thought we're going to fall in love and get married. I chided myself for being a little foolish about the whole thing once I put it all into perspective.

None of my rationale made his rejection hurt any less, but at least I knew I would get over it. I started thinking that I hadn't done any crafting since I'd moved to Chicago. I happily sat down and thanked Harry for the time I now had to catch up on my Pinterest projects. Out of the thousands of things I'd pinned over the years, I had probably done about ten of them.  

After spending hours on Pinterest, I was sufficiently excited for the following day. I was going to hit thrift stores, flea markets, and maybe do a little scavenging if the area as long as I didn't get caught. When I finally went to bed, I promised myself that this would be a new beginning, the experience that I was meant to have in Chicago.

* * * * *

Wow! After I posted the previous chapter, I had almost a hundred votes in the first hour. You guys make me feel like a celebrity!

I hope you all know how much I love you! <3